Retreat preparation takes a lot of work up front in order to ensure a successful retreat. This required lots of late nights at my parish in the time after my pilgrimage to the retreat itself.
On top of that, my work schedule got super ridiculous due to deadlines.
Then I got sick.
So, working hard at work, working hard after work for the retreat, and then being sick for the past two weeks...and I don't really know how I managed all that.
And now, this week following the retreat has been insane with work due to a hard deadline that we have for our project.
So, that explains my blogular silence.
But, I also wanted to mention a few things. During the retreat, I was talking to one of my fellow young adults. From a conversation, I was inspired to perhaps not listen to the radio on my commute home from work for this week...maybe even for the rest of Lent.
This morning, I actually grew weary of my favorite morning radio show because I had tuned in during their gossip segment. I could really care less about Chris Brown and Rihanna's relationship and how it turned into a love square (not triangle). And, I don't watch The Bachelor so I could really care less how much drama there is between the last few women and the bachelor.
I had really rough day at work today. Not that it was particularly challenging, but I think the right combination of events and non-happenings, state of mind, state of emotions, hungry and tired state, led me to just feel terrible when I left for work earlier.
See, the temptation is to distract myself from my feeling terrible by listening to music or Catholic radio, as is my usual routine when driving home from work. But, in keeping with my exploration of driving home in silence...I drove an hour home. In silence. Okay, 'cept for the one part where I prayed a Rosary (also part of my usual routine when driving home from work).
Silence is scary when I'm in a terrible mood. Because in silence, I'm forced to deal with me, as I am, and everything I'm feeling terrible about. Nothing to get my mind off dealing with my mind. Yet, as scary as it was dealing with me in my terrible mood...it was almost...refreshing. I didn't have the extra noise of radio or music to add to the noise of my interior self. And then yeah, I was able to confront today's sufferings and burdens. Clarity through silence, it seemed like. I could just...be.
I kept thinking back to a blog I read a while ago over at Bad Catholic--Why No One Shuts Up.
Silence is a good thing sometimes.
And referring back to the retreat last weekend...one of the consecrated women from Regnum Christi told me towards the end of the weekend about a silent retreat coming up for young Catholic men. I'm thinking about it and discerning about it. We'll see what happens.
Silence breaks the noise.
- JD
