Inevitably, being the age that I am, it is the. prime. time. to get married and start having kids. Because an abundance of love overflows and love is never kept to self, it only makes logical sense that husbands and wives share their love and joy with others. On Facebook. Cool wedding pictures!
Then comes the baby in the baby carriage. The love of husband and wife is so strong, so real, that it results in a third person. That is so profoundly biological and Catholic-ly theological/philosophical. Undoubtedly, a barrage of totally adorable pictures follows on Insta-Face-gram-book. First steps. First bath. Here's our baby with our other babies (ie. dogs). Oh look at this picture with our baby wearing the cutest clothes evurrrrr. Teehee, our baby made a funny face (MEME DAT!). Aw, look at our baby dressed in collegiate wear!
Ugh.
With that said...
Dear Facebook friends,
I'm so frustrated with your postings of your adorable baby (or babies, if you have been generous in your love for your spouse) on Facebook and Instagram.
Look, I get it. You want to share with your friends and family this joy that you and your spouse have. I get it. You want to preserve these precious memories of your child so that you can easily go back on your Facebook Timeline years later and have that nostalgic moment remembering that precious memory. I get it. Now you have blackmail-worthy pictures of your child to show their friends when they're in high school or college or wedding day. Whatever your reason, I get it.
First thing. Did a bunch of you get together about 9 months ago (+/- few months) and collectively decide to have babies right around the same time? Because my Facebook News Feed is totally inundated with a wave of babies' pictures right now. Post, after post, after post. Babies. Babies. Babies. And let's not forget the sonogram pictures too. And because y'all may or may not have gotten together about 9 months ago and collectively decide to birth at the same time, there are a good number of you posting baby pictures. At least I'm not forced to keep looking at the same cute, adorable baby at any point during my typical News Feed stalking. Hey, variety helps.
Second thing. Not only are you posting baby pictures, but you're posting baby announcement pictures, baby-in-the-womb-growing progress pictures, and other fancy creative ways to posting pictures about your baby. What deep bowels of Pinterest have you been perusing? Not that there's anything wrong with that. And these kinds of pictures are usually not one-and-done. No, no! They're like a weekly (dare I even say in some cases, daily?!) update. More status-ing about it all. More pictures. More frustration for me.
Third thing. What's the deal with you who are married yet don't have kids? It's frustrating because I practically expect some sort of generous, overflowing profound love that results in a baby that merits posting about it Facebook/Instagram. And yet I'm left with nothing. The anticipation is killer and that's frustrating. Look, you and your spouse might have legit reasons to not have kids right now...but come on, it's been a few years. Please, I beg you--add to my frustration!
