Total Consecration 2014: Day 17

Readings:
John 15: 1-8

from Pope St. John Paul II:
Christifidelis Laici, 18
Novo Millennio Ineunte, 43

Reflection:
I'm the type of guy who tends to fall into the idea that I can be self-efficient enough to be able to take care of myself on my own without requiring the help of others. In other words, I attempt at thriving apart from others. This also translates to attempting to do things apart from God's help and guidance. But the Lord has definitely shown me over the years, even especially in recent times, that apart from Him, I miserably fail. I fail because I am not truly in communion with Him and His will.

It was through my novice study of Pope St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body that I began to understand the Holy Trinity as a communion of love. You know, the Father loves the Son in a profound exchange of love, the Son loves the Father in a profound exchange of love, and that love between them is so strong and profound it results in a third, the Holy Spirit.

From yesterday's reflection, I know I am made in His image. I was created to be in communion with God. Likewise, I'm created to be in communion with others as well because we're part of the Mystical Body of Christ. He is the vine, and we are the branches. He is the head, we are His body.

I can easily remove myself from being part of the vine, His body, through rebelling against Him.  In today's reading, He explains that only those that abide in him bear much fruit. If I rebel against Him, I'm effectively cutting my own self off. In sin, I become my own branch apart from the vine and will wither and die.

But if I'm in communion with Him, then I will bear much fruit. I will thrive because I'm being who I'm created to be and that is to abide in Him out of love for Him. And only good things can come from abiding in Him and bearing much fruit. It's like following that chain combo in Candy Crush or something where your score gets super multiplied.

So by being in communion with Him, I am a branch attached to Him as the vine. But I'm not the only branch. My brothers and sisters are also branches. And because they are branches to the same vine, I need to have the ability to see them as such. They are a part of me too. They are children of God, too. They deserved to be loved too. And I'm grateful for them as gifts for me, too.

Response:
Striving for communion with Jesus. But also Mary as well, because she had a very profound sense of communion with Jesus when she carried Him in her very womb.

At work tomorrow, I'll strive to see each person as a "gift" for me because they too are part of the Mystical Body of Christ.

Pope St. John Paul II said

A living and life-giving communion which Christians no longer belong to themselves but are the Lord's very own, as the branches are with the vine. (Christifidelis Laici, 18).

Totus tuus,
- JD

Mystical Body of Christ // Copiosa

Total Consecration 2014: Day 16

Readings:
Genesis 1: 27
Genesis 2: 18-25

from Pope St. John Paul II:
General Audience (Theology of the Body), November 14, 1979
General Audience (Theology of the Body), January 16, 1980

Reflection:
I just got back from a Holy Hour at my parish that also involved some time for Lectio Divina on yesterday's Gospel, which is where Jesus was talking about separating the sheep and goats in Matthew 25. He says that the sheep, or the righteous, will inherit eternal life because they took care of the least of their brothers and in doing so, they took care of Jesus.

In our sharing of what stood out to us from spending time before the Blessed Sacrament and encountering Him in the Word, we talked about recognizing the dignity of others when we show mercy towards them.

Which leads me to today's readings for preparation.

I am made in God's image. My human dignity comes from the very fact that I am made in His image. And I know that's important in the way that we view others because my fellow brothers and sisters in humanity also are made in His image. And as such, I owe them respect. Love. Not just any love, but love as a gift of self in a self-sacrificial way. Feeding the hungry. Sheltering the homeless. Visiting the imprisoned. Healing the sick. And so on.

Being both body and  soul, my body has,  in Pope St. John Paul II's words, the "power to express love." I can use my body to offer my self in love for others by serving and taking care of them. By doing so, I, in a sense, am taking care of Jesus.

Yesterday, I visited my nursing home residents again. Even though I serve in the role of Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and offer them the Eucharist, Jesus Himself, I can't help but behold their own faces. I behold their faces because as I see them consume the Eucharist, it becomes incredibly real to me that I'm no longer looking at Annette, Vicky, Joe, Carlton, and Diane's faces. Rather, truly I'm looking at the face of Jesus! Through their reception of the Eucharist, they become one flesh with our Lord so for me to look at their face is really me looking at Jesus. Kind of blows my mind away, now that I think about it.

And what blessed opportunity that is! I want to blog more on this, but I oftentimes don't feel like going to visit my residents to bring the Eucharist to them. It takes a lot of effort, sacrifice, and dying of self for me to go. But! O the consolations I receive for actually choosing to go! What a gift it is to see their brightened faces when I visit them!

And they're grateful because I've offered my self as a gift to spend that time with them. To bring them Jesus. To pray with them. Whenever I'm done visiting with them, I'm often filled with a better sense of who I am as a person and how I'm called to love and serve others. Which brings to mind the words of Pope St. John Paul II when he says

Man cannot "fully find himself except through a sincere gift of self." (Gen. Aud., January 16, 1980)

Response:
Looking to Mary as a prime example of the gift of self, I shall turn my thoughts, desires, needs, preferences, pleasures towards the gift of self rather than towards myself. This is an area I very much struggle with.

Totus tuus,
- JD

Mother Teresa feeding child // Whole World Women

"The Beauty Of A Soul Reflects Itself On The Face"

Jason Evert says in his book, Theology of Her Body (pg 31):

"The famous Russian novelist Dostoyevsky once wrote, 'Beauty will save the world.' Perhaps more than ever--at a time when beauty is so often distorted or idolized--his statement rings true. The world needs a renewal of women who understand the power of their beauty, and who will use it to draw the hearts of men towards God, instead of distracting them from Him. The kind of beauty that has the greatest power is not a mere physical attribute. In the words of [Venerable] Archbishop Fulton Sheen, 'The beauty on the outside never gets into the soul. But the beauty of the soul reflects itself on the face.'" 

 - JD

Picture of Fyodor Dostoyevsky from Wikipedia

Blind Love

My last semester of college, I saw an inspiring young couple walking about campus.  Judging from their body language, I could tell they depended on each other to take their next step.  Just watching them from afar, I realized that both of them working together to help the other would be way more effective than being on their own without the other.

The kicker is...both of these fellow Aggies...are blind.

I've seen the young blind woman in a previous semester traversing across campus on her own with her "seeing eye pole" (I don't know the technical term)...feeling about where to go next.  But in my last semester...a young blind man, also with a "seeing eye pole" walked alongside her and they held hands.  And they walked around pretty fast!

How beautiful!

...that the two blind people on campus found each other.

Imagine this kind of relationship...where you don't know what your significant other looks like!  You only know them for the person that they are on the inside.

Pretty cool stuff.

I think there's a more profound type of relationship to be had if it's not based on what's on the outside, but too often you see how superficial relationships can be if you don't consider the inside.  I mean, think about it--you actually love the person rather than love what they look like.

What's great about this visible example to me (#pun) is that it really shows how you can love a person rather than just loving a body...that there's more to a person than what you can see about them.  And the other interesting thing to note is how much more effective their navigation of campus is due to them helping each other out.  Perhaps that says something about love...to desire the good of the other and in their case, providing an extra set of 'eyes' for the other so they can safely navigate campus.

I think they see who each other are in a clearer way than someone like me, who has the gift of sight.  And that's definitely a beautiful thing...to see people as persons, as human beings.  Maybe that's an important step in learning how to love--to love the person moreso than loving something about a person.

Now, I didn't stick around due to graduation to see how those two ended up...but either way...

Sometimes...love IS (literally) blind.
- JD

Vow of Chastity by St. Faustina

I was at Confession earlier and...prior to going in, I was like..."Oh hey, I have the Diary of St. Faustina in my car...I should bring it with me!"

So I did.

I'm not very far in St. Faustina's diary because...she's...well, every entry is rather substantial.  I mean, there's a lot of meat to it.  At least, it seems so.  I feel like I need to be in the right frame of mind in order to fully appreciate what she's writing about.

But regardless, I came across the part where she offers a little catechesis on vows that religious take.

And....in keeping with a new tradition of thinking about Theology of the Body on Thursdays...I'll just echo what she wrote regarding the vow of chastity:

From #93

Q: What are the means by which this virtue may be preserved?

A: To conquer interior temptations with the thought of the presence of God, and moreover to fight without fear.  And for exterior temptations, to avoid occasions.  There are, in all, seven principal means, to guard the senses, to avoid occasions, to avoid idleness, to remove temptations promptly, to remove oneself from all -- and especially particular friendships, the spirit of mortification, and to reveal all these temptations to one's confessor.

Besides this, there are also five means of preserving this virtue: humility, the spirit of prayer, modesty of the eyes, fidelity to the rule, a sincere devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Temptations of the flesh are like shiny objects to our squirrely life.  So attractive.  And I like how St. Faustina speaks of conquering the interior temptations by filling yourself with God.  And for the exterior temptations...simple removal from those things that are tempting.

But, that's stuff I've heard before.  And I realize that this in context to the vows of Poverty, Chastity, and Obedience that religious brothers and sisters take, but I still think this is useful.  What really prompted me to write this blog post was the five means she listed in order to preserve the virtue of chastity: humility, the spirit of prayer, modesty of the eyes, fidelity to the rule, and a sincere devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Cool stuff.  I know I need to work on some of these means  More prayer and reflection, that's for sure.

Challenge accepted.  St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, pray for us!
- JD

Engineering

My Senior Design Project, the "Phoenix"

I currently work as an engineer for a company that makes commercial airline
seats. Now, even though my diploma says I'm an Aerospace Engineer, in
practice, my job calls for more Mechanical Engineering and Computer-Aided
Design work. Nothing flies. We just make things that go into things that
fly.

In a few weeks, I'll be celebrating having worked at my company for two
years. That's a decent amount of time to get familiar with everything
having to do with making a commercial airline seat. You'd be surprised and
amazed at all the (engineering) work that goes into an airline seat! Psh,
I'm amazed and surprised myself!

Did you know this is an emoji for iOS?!

Whenever you're in engineering/design, you spend a lot of time looking at
parts and learning how those parts are made. There are so many ways to
turn different materials into various shapes possessing the properties
necessary to make a particular design work successfully. As the engineer,
you have to know these processes and materials so that you can design a
part that performs predictably to achieve form, fit, and function while
keeping in mind safety and cost (and weight, because the aerospace industry
is always interested in dieting because more weight = more fuel = more
cost).

When designing a part, usually the engineer designs it with specific
intent. The very shape of the part is not arbitrary usually. The material
a particular part is made of usually imposes certain restrictions of the
size and shape of the part. I mean, this only scratches the surface of all
the considerations that an engineer must...consider...but the main point is
this: parts aren't designed out of the blue--they are purposefully designed
with particular intent!

With that said, since I've been working for a while in the industry, I'm
getting better at being able to discern the purpose and process of
individual parts that go into our airline seats. For example, there are
only so many ways to form plastic...but I can look at plastic parts and
judging from how it looks, I can tell whether it was created by injection
molding or through vacuum forming. Or maybe it was done via
rapid-prototyping (or "printed out" via 3D printing).

It's cool to look at hardware like screws, nuts, bolts, rivets, clips, etc
and be able to decide, based on the purpose of the hardware, the best way
to utilize the hardware to achieve the result that I want.  Sometimes a rivet makes more sense to install rather than nut and bolt.  For example, the skin and wings of older airplanes are just sheets of metal riveted together.  You don't want to use screws or nuts and bolts because they can loosen over time, but rivets act as more permanent clamps.

Anyway!  I could go on, but I would get too nerdy.

As much as I aspire to be an awesome aerospace/mechanical engineer, I'm always out-engineer'd by God.  I look at the birds in the sky, and they remind me how amazing of an aerospace engineer God is.  It took us humans a long time to figure out flight, and even then...the things we fly often has to be piloted.  Birds, on the other hand, are instinctively built to fly--they know how to fly and live flight.  Considering the anatomy of the bird, it is easy to see the bird's nature of being something-that-can-take-flight.

Which leads me to...the human body.  It is truly a marvel of divine engineering.  Every shape, part and process of the human body is purposeful, down to the last boson (hah, relevant vocab!).  You know, since God made us in His image and likeness (Gen 1:26), surely we can discern God's nature by examining the human body.  There is such a thing as a study of God through the human body.  

One guy talked about a "theology of the body" 129 times back in the 1980's:

Yes, Blessed Pope John Paul II spent a lot of time reflecting on what it means to be man and woman created in the image and likeness of God.  Because a creation should reveal something about its Creator.  And just as an engineer designs with intent...so does the Creator.

Nothing about the human body and the nature it reveals is arbitrary.  Humanity is God's finest engineering feat.

- JD

Obsession

No, I'm not talking about a line of cologne for men.

But rather...I was just thinking back to a comment on one of my Facebook posts.  Perhaps I like posting Catholic things regarding sexuality and things of that nature on Facebook/Twitter.  But I haven't in a long while... And people like confronting me about those posts.  Which is great!  I like a challenge.  But long story short...this one time, a friend of mine brought up that the Catholic Church's obsession with sexuality is unhealthy.  I didn't take offense to this.  And I don't think I ever responded to that.  But I've given it some thought since then.

Honestly, I think the Catholic Church's obsession with sexuality isn't unhealthy...rather, it's the general lack of obsession of sexuality in society that is unhealthy.  In the sexually-saturated world that we live in, you're probably thinking, "wait, aren't we pretty obsessed with sex?" ...and to that, I would agree!  But, not fully.  Because the general obsession with sexuality that I see out there in the world lacks the fullness of authentic sexuality.  In other words, the world is obsessed with sex! Yes! But only some reduced or twisted form of it.  And that's not Catholic.

You see, the Catholic Church is obsessed with the beauty and truth of sexuality as God intended.  And we can reason what the purpose of sexuality is based on natural law, which examines the human body and we can use reason and logic to conclude why male and female and sexual union.  Ultimately, because we, human beings, are God's creation...our very being, our bodies...point towards God and His Love.   The one flesh union between man and woman in the marital embrace speaks the language of God's love.  That's Catholic.

Sex is a beautiful thing.  And anything that takes away from its beauty is most likely not in line with what the Catholic Church teaches on sex.

So yeah, obsession.  The Catholic Church is obsessed with sex because the current worldview isn't obsessed with it enough.

All of this deserves more reflection and explanation, but...not in this blog post.  I'm just thinking about obsession.  But thankfully, much of that reflection and explanation has already been done.

In the unending search for truth in sexual obsession, Catholic-style, here are some topics/people worth Googling for more info:
Theology of the Body and Blessed Pope John Paul II
Christopher West
Chastity.com
Jason & Crystalina Evert
Humanae Vitae by Pope Pius VI

Faith. Hope. Charity. Obsession.
- JD

Catholic Partyin'

Nuns have fun too, but this blog post about being Catholic at a bachelor party.

I'm currently sitting at an airport in Corpus Christi, TX waiting for a flight back home. I just got done spending time with two of my college buddies and their friends for my college buddies' combined bachelor party. They're getting married in a month and their weddings are two weeks part. Fun fact: they are each others' best man. Crazy, huh? I'm quite blessed and honored to be a groomsman in both of their weddings. I love those guys in a total bro way.

In summary, we didn't live out a plot line worthy of The Hangover 3, but the weekend was still full of adventure and some stereotypical bachelor party things.

I'm grateful that nothing crazy happened like someone harmed themselves or others from being too drunk, no wild cats ended up locked in the bathroom, no one got arrested, no nudity, no one got eaten by sharks, no one got mauled by seagulls and everyone still had lots of fun. I survived the weekend without a pressing need to make an appointment with a priest just to go to Confession, haha.

But without wasting time divulging the details from this weekend, I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I saw, heard, and experienced.

Because, being where I'm at now in my Catholic faith...it's difficult NOT to see the world through a Catholic lens. Even at bachelor parties.

This weekend made me think more about what it means to be a man. Not just any man, but man created in the image and likeness of God. How should he act and think? Does his outward expressions reflect his interior?  Questions like that. I know that, being a guy, we're built to be easily captivated by woman and her beauty, but it is easy to fall into wanting to satiate selfish desires. Too easy to view her as mere piece of flesh for the eyes and imagination to devour rather than seeing her soul past her outer beauty. And too much alcohol clouds the mind, the heart, and the eyes.

Also, this weekend made me think more about the vocation of marriage. It's interesting because for the man-about-to-be-married, he realizes that he must share in the life of another person and through that love...ANOTHER person comes to be. But sometimes I get the vibe from couples that married life is more about the husband and wife and not their future kids. And that's awkward to me. Really awkward.  Also, for the single guy or guy in a somewhat committed dating relationship with friends about-to-be married, it seems that the idea of marriage is like death.

(awkward pause where I don't do more blogging on the 45-minute flight back home because I'm an aerospace nerd and I was marveling at the wing and engine outside my window and then appreciated the tracts and tracts of land devoted to agriculture as observed from my vantage point thousands of feet in the air)

Why, to some guys, is marriage akin to death, worthy of the funeral march instead of wedding bells?  Is it because a married man is no longer a man free to do as he pleases?  That he can no longer enjoy non-commitment?  That his bros are no longer his highest priority?  Perhaps there is an element of truth of how getting married is like death.  No, it IS death--the death of self.  A man, if is he to live out true masculinity in marriage, needs to be willing to sacrifice his selfishness...his ego...his self-centeredness...his life...for her.  For her good.  To place her above himself.  To heaven.  It's not easy.  It's supposed to be difficult.  Where's the sense of adventure when he takes the easy route of looking and behaving inwardly?

Anyway, in brief summary...there's a lot to be thinking about in terms of what it means to be a man and what marriage means whenever you're at a bachelor party.  Worthy for other blog posts, undoubtedly.

Besides all that, there was other Catholic winning this weekend!

A friend I hadn't heard from in over a year...randomly calls me an an opportune lull in our bachelor partyin' to let me know that he has opened his heart to learn more about Catholicism.  Needless to say...I kind of disappeared from the rest of the guys for a while and ended up talking to my friend for over and hour to see where he was at and talk more about Catholicism.  Pretty dang awesome.  I'm so stoked to hear about stuff like that!

I feel like I should have blogged about or posted this somewhere...but...part of my devotions in participating in Fortnight 4 Freedom...is to pray a Rosary each day of the fortnight.  I have grown lax in my devoting a Rosary every day lately, and I have a renewed sense of commitment during this fortnight.  Not even a bachelor party stopped me from taking some time to do a Rosary each day!  What was really cool is I even got one of my friends who is getting married to join me for some Joyful praying ;-)

Lastly, I heard a Matt Maher song playing on the radio while on a Whataburger run this morning.  Sometimes all you gotta do is turn around!...and head back to the condo after securing some breakfast sandwiches...haha.

In conclusion, I had a pretty awesome weekend.  I hardly get the chance to hang out with my friends from college, and I'm grateful I had this opportunity to spend time with them before I show up as a groomsman for both their weddings next month.  Through stereotypical guy talk and life talk from a guy's perspective, I'm able to see the wisdom in having a Catholic perspective.  And it's not that hard to live out my Catholic faith in simple ways so as long as I will it and commit to doing it--while being receptive to those random out-of-the-blue moments, of course.

For ye-who-readeth this blog post, please keep my Future-Catholic-Friend-On-The-Phone in your prayers, that he continues to be open and receptive in all that the Catholic faith has to offer and that his desire to seek truth leads him closer to the greatest Truth of all--God.  Also keep my two College-Buddies-Who-Get-Married-Next-Month in your prayers, that they become prepared to take on the adventure that is marriage that images God's love.  Lastly, keep the rest of us guys also present at the bachelor party in your prayers, that we learn to live out authentic masculinity.  Deep down, that is what we, guys, all desire to do--to live as real men.

My life is Catholic.
- JD

All Natural!

I'm a big fan of a Catholic radio show called Catholic Answers Live which airs in the evenings during the week.  The host of the show is Patrick Coffin and every hour the show he usually brings in a guest where they focus on a particular topic. Listeners are allowed to call in and ask questions regarding the Catholic teaching of the topic of that hour.  Pretty cool stuff!  I've learned a lot.  And it gives me something to listen to on my commute home from work. Patrick Coffin, in addition to being a radio show host, is also a book and blog writer (and he wears a few other hats not worth mentioning here).  If not evident from the picture above, he wrote Sex Au Naturel where he presents factual and scriptural points on the Catholic Church's teaching regarding sex and contraception/sterilization/abortion.   I just finished the book today after reading it here and there for a few weeks.  My motivation for reading it stemmed from him shamelessly plugging his book whenever callers pose a question regarding contraception.  In light of what's going on in the United States right now with the HHS mandate that demands all insurance companies to cover contraception and abortifacient drugs, I felt it necessary to arm myself with whatever resources I can muster to defend the Church's teaching. What I liked about the book was how readable it is.  Patrick presents the information clearly and concisely with a ton of references.  The book is meant for Catholics to read, and he even says that at the beginning.  He covers the history of Christian teaching on contraception, the implications of Humanae Vitae, makes the case for Catholic authority on teaching this matter, birth control, the overpopulation myth, and sterilization...and things in-between.  You can find more info about the book and its Amazon link here on his website at patrickcoffin.net. It's short, but I don't know how many pages there are because I have the Kindle edition...haha. But anyway, while this blog post isn't a critical review of the book...I know that I'll probably be referencing this book or referencing his references for future blog posts. I definitely recommend this book for those Catholics and Christians who aren't too clear on Church teaching regarding contraception.  He isn't preachy or judgmental--he just echoes facts and verses.  It's also going to be a good resource for an aspiring Catholic apologist, especially now that the issue of contraception has been elevated to national attention.  NOW is the time to let the American society know why the Catholic Church teaches what she teaches regarding sex and contraception. On to the next book about sex and Catholic teaching... Faith. Hope. Charity. Going green. - JD

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 5

November 4, 2011 8:22PM

As I prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet just now, I could slowly feel the cold slowly taking the feeling away from my toes and fingers. It got cold--really cold!

But, I can't complain. I'm at an abortion clinic. Powerful vacuums can be used to take away the body of a fetus. :-(

I actually missed my assigned hour this week so I'm making it up now. This 40 Days for Life campaign is wrapping up this weekend. But like I said, I don't know what miracles occurred as a result of us being here 24/7 for the past 40 days. (maybe I should check the website...)

It's kind of fitting that I finished Unplanned the other day. Wow, what a great account from both sides of the "fence" between pro-life and pro-choice. I loved reading about Abby's encounters with the men and women involved with the 40 Days for Life, and it rather inspires me to adopt their approach as described by Abby. Granted, every time I'm here at this location during the week, every one in the clinic has already gone home. Can't put myself into a situation of opportunities--but that's ok. I'm here to pray. And reflectively blog about it.

Earlier today I was thinking about sexual accountability. Does a contraceptive and/or abortive mentality foster an attitude that is truly selfless seeking what is truly best for all involved? Yeah sex feels good and it is meant to. Yeah we have sexual desires because they're inherent to us as male and female. But does that mean we can just go around enjoying ourselves and try justifying our pleasures without consequences by promoting contraception and abortion? I don't think so. It's too careless. New life is at stake!

I look at this way: why do people abort their kids? Because the baby, whether considered as such or not, is unwanted. Or maybe contraceptives failed. Why do people use contraceptives? To have sex without pregnancy.  So why are people wanting to have sex without initiating pregnancy?  Multitude of reasons, but most seem questionably selfish to me.  Now why are people having sex? Is it because it feels good? Does it make people "happy"? To show one's "love" for their partner? Legit reasons, but to me it's only worth it with the person you're meant to be with forever. But wait, why is there sex anyway? Because humans are male and female, and the entire continuity of our dominion on earth resides in creating future generations. A man's body doesn't make sense by itself. A woman's body doesn't make sense by itself. Our respective anatomies suggest that they go together. And yes, the world would be quick to agree with that statement. But then we're back to why is there sex?

There is a greater purpose to sex. I think we all get too caught up in the icing of sexuality without really digging deeper into the cake that is its greater purpose.  But that's worth another blog post.

Lust makes the whole sexual act that of a selfish one. And I will eternally say that lust is not of true love--it is authentic love's counterfeit.

But this post is about 40 Days for Life. The consequences of sexual actions bring people here to this clinic (mostly, anyway, and supposedly other health services are offered here as well). And so there is a fence. A fence that separates those who are pro-life and pro-choice.

Praying.  That's all I can actively do here.  That is the purpose of 40 Days for Life.  Unceasing peaceful prayer for 40 days and 40 nights...for the beauty and gift of life.  Not here to judge or intimidate clients. 

Anyway, I still really recommend the book, Unplanned by Abby Johnson, to every one--whether they're pro-life or pro-choice. We have more in common than we'd like to admit.

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 4

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 3

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 2

This post transferred from my old blog.  Bold words are new/modified.

October 13, 2011 at 8:23PM

So I missed my scheduled hour last Tuesday on the account of a minor toe surgery. I didn't want to risk driving here since I couldn't wear a shoe...

But that's not what I'm blogging about.

They do abortions here on Thursdays as well as Fridays and Saturdays. I just wonder how many babies didn't make it. Maybe it's best to not think about it. Pray. Continuous praying for them and especially their parents. That's all I can do.

Earlier today I was texting back and forth with my cousin in California. We were kind of sulking in our lack of social activity since we're so busy compounded with how we both currently don't have love lives.

So stemming off that text conversation, I started thinking about those who are currently in relationships. I see couples everywhere either married, engaged, or dating. I often wonder the depth of their love for each other. Is it merely superficial or is there something on a deeper level here?

To the very few that have asked me about relationship advice, I make sure to tell them that sex shouldn't be the ultimate end as to why you're in a romantic relationship.  It should not be the focal point or the goal unless you're meant to be with that person until death. It's not being prude--it's being practical.

We live in a sex-saturated society where it tries to convince us that sex without consequences is THE way to "love" each other. Where lust is acceptable. Where objectifying the other sex is acceptable. Where babies are burdens and thus it is such a grave thing that a baby be conceived!

:-(

And this is why I'll eternally stress that true authentic love is free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

True love is free because if it is forced, it is not love at all. The lack of choice in the matter isn't really loving. By juxtaposition, think of rape. Authentic love is free because it gives the other the option to choose it or not. Like a father willing to let his daughter go on her wedding day.

True love is total because to hold yourself back is shortchanging your beloved. "Hey honey, I love you but not completely." I know that most of us would never openly say that to our beloved but do we hold such an idea in our hearts? Do we express our lack of total self-giving with our bodies? Think of the husband saying this to his wife, "My dear wife, I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul but I'm not willing to give up myself completely for you." Shortchanged wife. Now switch the word "husband" with "wife." Shortchanged husband. Authentic love is total because your beloved deserves nothing less of you.

True love is faithful. Lol, just listen to celebrity news and you can see how unfaithful love isn't really love at all. Isn't it every woman's dream to be that special someone to a man? Imagine how heartbroken she must feel if he goes and pulls a jerk move and cheats on her. She doesn't deserve that. I'll flip it the other way too. How less of a man would he feel knowing that the one he protects and provides for and loves...goes off with some other guy. Authentic love is faithful because there is no fear in your beloved leaving you in the dust.

True love is fruitful. You know, love is meant to be shared. It's not something for one to take and keep for oneself. Of course, love is an intangible thing but there are signs that make it visible. The fruitfulness of marriage are children. They are the visible signs of a husband and wife's self-giving love for each other. For us singletons, the fruitfulness of our love for others are meaningful friendships. If love isn't fruitful, how then is it shared?

Anyway, relating it all together... Sex is a visible sign of love that points towards something much greater. So, if sex is an expression of love... Sex, too, must be free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

So if a man and woman have intimate relations fulfilling love authentically... Is abortion really an option?

- JD

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 1

This post transferred from my old blog.  Bold words are new/modified.

October 4, 2011 8:22PM

Tonight is my first night of 40 Days for Life for this year. I was going to write this out on paper but my pen wouldn't write... :-/. I decided to do some on-site reflective journaling because I ... feel like it would be fruitful.

This time around is different. Last year I went from 7PM-8PM where the sun was still setting and you can still see. But now that I'm from 8PM-9PM... It's already dark. This is also different in that it is evening since I usually go on a Saturday morning. The parking lot is near empty and no one is driving up like a Saturday morning.

I prayed a Divine Mercy Chaplet and during this time the employees, with their conspicuous tattoos (even in the dark), drove away in their really nice cars. I didn't look at them purposely. I closed my eyes with my head down as they drove past me. Now, the only person on the premises is the custodial worker.

Praise God that I'm not alone here. I'm in a somewhat shady part of town. A few Hispanic women are near me with their devotionals, and a mother and son showed up a few mins ago, and they're now on the corner holding signs.

One thing I want to reflect on is what to name my spiritually adopted baby. Last year, I was inspired by the idea of spiritually adopting a baby. I named her "Melody" because I wanted to make it personal. If I had my own baby girl, I would probably name her "Melody." Let me pray about this.
(insert pause for a few minutes)
...and hmm... Somehow the name "RJ" sticks out to me though I don't know what those initials stand for. "RJ" would be my first name's initials, inverted. Sounds good to me. It's a boy!

What RJ and Melody share in common is that they face the threat of their parents aborting them. I don't know their actual status or well-being nor do I know anything else about their parents. This is the burden of spiritually adopting a baby. But the fruit of it is that you can't help but to pray for them and their parents because that is all you can do.

So that's settled. I thought I'd spend a little more time on deciding on a name, but it only took a few minutes.

On my drive here, I heard on 910 AM that 64% of women who have an abortion are forced to have it. The ad continued by citing examples around the nation of cases where women were threatened with violence if they didn't have an abortion. How sad is that? That even if she desires life for her child, she cannot because someone is threatening her life unless she goes through an abortion. The ad ended with that, in this way, abortion is an unchoice. www.unchoice.info is the website, I think.

Hmm, I was just thinking... The nice thing about going this late in the evening is that you don't have to ponder the reasons why a woman enters this facility like you would on a Saturday morning. No one is inside right now except Mr. I Have To Clean This Place.

What's frustrating about this facility is that it offers other sexual and health services besides abortion. But sometime in the past year, I realized that if a man is truly a man and a woman is truly a woman and their conjugal union is truly a gift of self to the other in marriage (we're talking eternally, here), then the whole sexual health purpose of this facility means nothing. Pointless.

I pray here not to shut down this facility though its existence doesn't promote an authentic loving environment, but rather I pray here for a change of heart.

It is the attitudes about sex and love that we must seek to change in order to end abortion. I don't feel like eradicating the means is enough.

To get rid of a weed, you must consider its root.

- JD

Missing the Mark

Towards the end of college, I came across Blessed Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body through my college campus ministry.  St. Mary's had set up study groups to delve into the Theology of the Body as presented by world-renowned theologian on the matter, Christopher West.

He explains, in a video we watched and in a book we read, that the Greek word for sin means "to miss the mark."   Now, I don't remember his exact analogy, but I could totally relate to his message on sin.

Quick backstory: I took Archery class for kinesiology credit my sophomore year and continued to take it practically every semester thereafter until graduation.  Not to brag or anything, I got good at the recurve bow ;-).

Anyway, Christopher West explained how when you sin...you aim for something good, but something twists your aim and you "miss the mark."  In other words, I'm aiming for the bulls-eye, but maybe I didn't have proper form or proper anchoring--I release the arrow and it isn't a bulls-eye.  :-/

I think the important lesson here is to know that every time you sin, it's really because you desire something which is good and holy, but somehow something has caused your view of that good thing to be twisted.

The other important thing I gained from this analogy, moreso from my own reflection, is that you can't beat yourself up for having screwed up.  Not forgiving yourself for messing up isn't a good thing either.  Be sorry, confess it--yes! As you are forgiven, you must also forgive yourself.

How does this relate to archery?  I'm not particularly pro at archery so it's not like I shoot bulls-eyes (which is a score of 10 by the rules that I play) all the time.  If I shoot anything less than a 6, it's easy for me to be negative about it but focusing on how I screwed up doesn't net me a bulls-eye the next few arrows.  The archery (or golf, as I've also heard it) mentality for success requires focusing on what you've done right in order to keep hitting a 10 rather than dwelling on an unsuccessful arrow.  Haha, that could probably be its own blog post or can be read in books.  But yeah! Sin and archery...who would have known they kind of go together O_o.

In summary,

• Sin, in Greek, means "to miss the mark"
• Behind every sin is the desire for something good
• The journey to success and "hitting the mark" can be a twisted one
• Forgive yourself
• Focus on what you did right!

...some inspiration:

12/05/09, recurve bow, 18 meters, Score = 30 pts

Trying not to brag...

- JD