How A Single, Catholic Guy Knows He's On The Right Track

Back in January, I took a road trip. After three hours of riding on a sleepy charter bus, we finally made it to Austin, TX. I joined with 100 other people from my parish for the Texas Rally For Life. Pretty cool! We joined thousands of others from around Texas to rally for the pro-life cause. We had great speakers, and Abby Johnson MC'd. No big deal.

Before the march, we had some downtime after we arrived in Austin to relax and take a lunch break.

During this break, I was going around talking to various people being a social butterfly.

Ok, so Apu from The Simpsons is being a hummingbird here, but whatever. 

Not that I have any measure of popularity, but I suppose because I'm pretty involved at my parish, people know of me. Because of this, whenever they have a chance to talk to me, they want to know more about me. I found myself in such a conversation with a mom of one of my religious education students.

She asked me the usual questions. She asked me what I do for a living, the ministries that I'm involved with, and of course she asked about my marital status. When I told her that I'm single, she asked the next natural Catholic question in this Catholic context: do you want to be a priest?  I chuckled and answered no, but what she said next is what prompts me to write this blog post.

She said that she thinks that I would make an excellent priest or husband in the future.

This stuck with me the rest of the Austin trip. Why? Because I guess I needed to hear it. It's an affirmation that whatever I'm doing means I'm on some right track.

In our Catholic world, a vocation is a calling by the Lord to live out one’s life according to His will (His not mine) to a particular state in life. It is truly a calling and not an occupation. The primary vocations, or states in life, available to me are priesthood, marriage, and single life (which single life could also mean religious life in community like in a monastery). The most talked-about vocations are priesthood and marriage, with marriage being the more popular one.

And so for the mom to say that I would make an excellent priest or husband gave me pause because sometimes it’s easier for me think about it if the opinion is more one-sided. But to be considered excellent for both? Hmm.

I’ve heard it said before (I forget where) that a really good, awesome Catholic priest would also make a really good, awesome husband. Now, married priests and priestly husbands is a totally separate discussion which I won’t cover here, but both Catholic priests and husbands share a commonality— both are men! Not only both are men, but both are fathers. In each of these vocations, priesthood and marriage, the man is called to fatherhood in uniquely expressed ways. Fatherhood, to me, is the fullest expression of being a man.

So I took her compliment as a deeper affirmation that I'm living out an authentic masculinity that fits well with either of the two vocations. The commonality between a Catholic priest and a husband is the man and his call to fatherhood. His role as priest or husband doesn't make sense or cannot be lived in its fullness if he doesn't first live out his authentic masculinity.

It was a really nice compliment for me. It was something I needed to hear at the time. It helps me realize that I must be doing something right and that overcoming the struggles of living out authentic masculinity is worth it. Striving for an authentic manliness has been a constant reflection of mine since the end of college. I don’t think I’ve arrived, but I must be on the right track.

Now, time to dig deep, put on my archery mentality (whereby archery mentality focuses on what was done right to continue hitting the bullseye) and take note of what it is I'm doing to be the man God created me to be.

Please pray for me!
-JD

Pastor Lee // The Drop Box
Pope Francis celebrating Mass in the Sistine Chapel // BBC
Apu hummingbird gif // Giphy

Favorite Verses: Day 5

Proverbs 27: 17

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Full chapter here.

Every time I read this verse, I think of accountability and how important that it is in our faith.  If we are part of the Body of Christ, we're accountable to one another to get each other to heaven to be in communion with God because that's how He made us.

What's awesome about living in a small community of a Catholic household with other like-minded and like-souled (is that a word?) guys is that we can hold each other accountable for our actions and our practice of our Catholic faith. I can remember the times when a housemate would ask me if I wanted to go to Mass or pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet with him, and I'd say yes even though I initially didn't want to. I can remember a few times of inviting a housemate or two to men's groups so we can  deepen our faith together.

A lot of my free time is devoted to various ministries. I'm held accountable by the people I minister to because they expect me and desire me to truly live out what it means to be Catholic. Out of simple honor, I do not want to let them down.  They help motivate me to be stronger in my faith so I can be who God created me to be so that I may offer myself fully as a real Catholic to them.

A sword doesn't get sharp unless it is on fire and open to being formed by another piece of metal.

So, too, then am I.  I'm en fuego. My faith gets sharper if other people hold me accountable for the faith that I have. Because of this verse, I seek out ways and people to hold me accountable for my Catholic faith. And just as they hold me accountable, I hold them accountable.

Dear heavenly Father, I thank you for the people you have put in my life to help me grow in a deeper relationship with you. I pray that I am the man that you created me to be so that I can set the world on fire, as St. Catherine of Siena once said. All this I pray in your name through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us!
Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, pray for us!
- JD

Sharpening a katana // Extremely Sharp Swords & Knives

Favorite Verses: Day 3

First of all, it amuses me greatly when people use Ephesians 5: 24 to make some sort of radical feminist case. Here for your reading pleasure:

24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.

You can easily see how verse 24 standing on its own seems extremely troubling, especially with our modern sensibilities. And self-proclaimed pro interpreters of the Bible whose own interpretive authority eclipses everyone else's never seem to read on towards my next favorite passage:

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the church; 33 however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Full passage here.

We have such crappy examples in our culture of what love is and how to love. I grow weary of the unsatisfying examples of love that I encounter out there because it's not what I yearn for, and it's not how I want to love others.

Then I look to Christ. I see how He loved the Church, His Bride.

Through everything He taught...through His sorrowful Passion and death...We, as Christians, have the model of authentic, real, genuine love. Self-sacrificial love. A love that is absolutely free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

As I desire to be a husband and father one day, I know that I genuinely desire my future wife's ultimate good, no matter my cost. I want to love her just as Christ loves His Church.

No amount of shades of grey will ever satisfy my pursuit of Love.

So I look to the Cross, the crucifix...to Christ. There, I can ponder the mystery of Love, to know Love, to receive Love...and because of all this...I desire to share that Love.

Lord Jesus Christ, you gave your life for us, your Church, as an act of your infinite love. A love that is truly free, total, faithful, and fruitful. A love that bears great fruit. I pray for the grace to look to You and to love like You. Teach me how to love others, and by Your holy will, my future wife too. 

We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You, because by Your holy Cross, You have redeemed the world.

- JD

Christ on the cross from The Passion // DSD O'Connor's blog

While people-watching at the airport the other day...

Oh the gloriousness of stock photos!

... I saw something really awesome!

I was at the airport this past Saturday waiting for my grandparents, aunt, and cousin to pass through U.S. Customs. My grandparents are moving back from the Philippines, and my aunt and cousin are immigrating.

Obviously, with Customs being the way that it is, and the fact that my grandparents are advanced in age, it took a long while for them get through. My parents and I were waiting at international arrivals for a long while. Lots of Facebook Likes and some retweets while I was waiting.

Also during that time, I was watching people pass through. Lots of sweet reunions among family and friends as I waited there tapping through apps on my iPhone waiting for my own family to pass through the sliding doors.

But one reunion in particular stood out.

A mother with her twin toddlers (a little boy and little girl) passed through the sliding doors. Not even 10 feet, and they all see the father waiting at the end of the roped off area. The little girl JUMPS OUT OF THE STROLLER (it was riding low enough), AND RUNS TO THE EMBRACE AND KISSES OF HER FATHER. The little boy, who seemed a little distracted by some toy or something, took a few moments before he caught on, and he himself jumped out and ran towards his father as well.

I was just observing this from my seat off to the side. I don't know how long the mother and children were gone and what country they flew from, but it didn't matter. Seeing just the excitement and the love being shared and the joy being expressed seeing this father reuniting with his family speaks a very resonating truth about its goodness and beauty.

Seeing those toddlers run up to their dad was unlike anything else I had seen among children reuniting with their fathers that I saw that day.  But I can only imagine what kind of relationship the father has to his kids for them to run up to him like that. It's awesome.

I kept thinking how I desire that type of relationship with my own (future) kids (God-willing) to have a moment just like that.

But for now, I can strive to be the best man I can be and love in authentic ways.
- JD

American Airlines Terminal 3's Main Hall @ Chicago O'Hare // Wikipedia

Don't Tell Dan Brown...

...that I'm going to an Opus Dei men's night of recollection tonight.

That pretty much makes me one of the Werst Kafliks Evurr. Secret societies, murderous plots, misogyny, secret theological truths unearthed about Christ, beating my own self to a bloody mess, among other things in this cult-like society as presented in The Da Vinci Code.

Yep. Don't tell Dan Brown. He might get upset and be inspired to continue Robert Langdon's story.

Lol.

I'm glad that there is such a thing as reality and that fiction is entertaining. Because! In real life, Opus Dei isn't what Dan Brown makes it out to be.

A refutation of Dan Brown's version of Opus Dei, by the real Opus Dei: http://opusdei.us/en-us/article/the-da-vinci-code-the-catholic-church-and-opus-dei-2/

So for our weekly Bro Night with my housemates, we're going to this men's night of recollection.

I've been to a few Opus Dei men's nights of recollection before. Assuming tonight will be no different, I'll expect that we'll be engaging in such debaucherous things as praying before the Most Blessed Sacrament (ie. the Eucharist (ie. Jesus Himself)), being led in meditations/contemplations/reflections by an Opus Dei priest, have the chance to go to Confession, attend a brief seminar on how to integrate Catholic faith and everyday life and work, and an examination of conscience as related to how well we are being the men we are created to be whether married or single.

And more praying!

Scandalous! I know! Sheesh.

"Opus Dei" means "God's work", which is a characterization of the founder's ideal on how we as Catholics, especially laypeople, can glorify God through our everyday work and labor. 

Again, don't tell Dan Brown because Opus Dei, in reality, is truly Catholic and not some false shadow of the truth.

Please pray for me as I contemplate how to better integrate my faith in my engineering work on a daily basis. And please know that I'm praying for you, too.

St. Josemaria Escríva, founder of Opus Dei and pretty cool priest, pray for us!

-JD

St. Josemaria Escríva // http://catholicseeking.blogspot.com/2012/06/st-josemaria-escriva.html

A Manly Michael Move

Apparently earlier this week, Michael Phelps got into some trouble. In his own words, on Facebook:

You know, maybe I'm just used to other kinds of celebrities getting into alcoholic trouble that for Michael Phelps getting into this kind of trouble seems like a non-issue. No one died, no one got hurt, but the potential for bad things could have happened.  I only know what Michael has revealed here.

I did appreciate his sincerity in how sorry he feels to have let everyone down. I mean, one does not simply be the most decorated gold Olympian and not have people look up to you. And he knows this. And that's why I appreciate him expressing his sorrow in letting everyone down. Most famous people don't really do that.

While stalking my News Feed, I saw this earlier today:

Wow, so it seems like he's making steps to get some help, even at the sacrifice of swimming for a while.

That's awesome!

And it's awesome because he made a manly move.

What makes this manly is that he recognized he had made a mistake and that he owned up to it. Not only that, but he didn't settle for staying that way. He recognizes that he's got a problem within himself that needs to be fixed. He is actively trying to be a better version of himself, and not just in the pool. That's manly.  My respect for Michael Phelps has gone way up because of this.

This resonates with me because lately I've been having to admit my own mistakes and own up to them. Yes, and even seeking help. It sucks. It quite humbles me, but as I'm striving to be the best version of myself, there are some things that I know I can strive to perfect and overcome. What they are, I won't say right now, but just know that I am in a constant process of improvement in some areas of my life.

Being the best version of myself, even at the sacrifice of my ego and vices. That's manly.

- JD

Michael Phelps // Wikipedia

Going to Visit A Monastery & Taking Prayer Requests!

Sometimes great adventures get proposed over cold adult beverages and 60 cent wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. As Taylor Swift may briefly say, it was just a typical Tuesday night with some guys from my parish, including our Director of Religious Education (DRE) and some visiting seminarians from Albuquerque, NM. 

Towards the end of the night and after the last Thai Curry wing was consumed, our DRE came up to me and my housemate proposing an adventurous idea: a pilgrimage to a Benedictine monastery in Oklahoma. The initial details were basically take a car and drive up, stop 20+ miles away from the monastery, walk the rest of the way, join the monks for their prayer times, stay the night, have a full morning and afternoon of prayer and reflection, then drive back. Oh, and beg for food in order to eat.

Crazy.

...and in my mind I was like..."HEAVEN YEAH!"  My only hesitations in saying yes were some typical annual obligations that fell on this planned weekend of pilgrimage-ing. A week goes by, permissions asked of wives and housemates. It looks like I'm going to be in a car full of other men doing this pilgrimage.

We will leave in the dead of the night (3:30AM) on Friday, drive a long while, stop at a Catholic church in Waggoner, OK mid-morning, then walk all afternoon to the monastery where we hope to have dinner with some friends of the monks at a volunteer fire station. We'll be bringing a large wooden cross to carry with us as we're walking. Then at night, we'll join the monks for Compline (Night Prayer). Saturday will be filled with more Liturgy of the Hours with the monks, times of silence and prayer, a conference/reflection led by our DRE on the Holy Cross (the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross is Sunday), hang out with religious sisters, and Mass at some point. Then we return home.

I'm pretty excited. I haven't been on any sort of retreat for my own sake since last year when I went on a silent retreat. I see it as a great opportunity to grow physically and spiritually due to the demands of this pilgrimage. Walking 20+ miles?! In the afternoon in the summer?! I've never done that! And Benedictine monasteries have a certain Catholic cool factor due to the nature of the Benedictine way of life. Challenge accepted.

With all that said, I'll undoubtedly have time to pray. If you would like me to pray for you while I'm on this pilgrimage, please submit your prayer request via the form below.

Thanks and God bless! And please pray for the other men and for me as we go on this pilgrimage that God teaches us what He wants us to know during this time on our pilgrimage. And let's also ask for St. Michael the Archangel's intercession for this time before the pilgrimage because I can already tell that Satan is on the prowl trying to ruin things because he doesn't like this idea at all.

Lastly, please pray for our pilgrimage's general intention (what we'll be praying for during the pilgrimage): for an end to the Black Mass scheduled on September 21 through the victory of the Holy Cross.

Pax
- JD

Our Lady of Clear Creek Abby // ClearCreekMonks.org

Not A Review on When The Game Stands Tall

It was a recent Thursday afternoon, and I was totally planning on attending a Young Catholic Professionals happy hour networking event. Within the last hour of my work day, I received a call. Then a text, because I typically don't answer my phone during work.

An invitation.

Apparently one of my housemates scored some free tickets to a free screening of the upcoming movie, When The Game Stands Tall, starring Jim Caviezel and one of those guys who got killed in The Hunger Games. I was initially conflicted because that was rather last minute and was not part my original plan for the evening. Due to having a sense of adventure, I decided to forgo going to the YCP event and go with two of my housemates plus a housemate's fiancé to this free screening of When The Game Stands Tall. That came at the cost of hanging out with my other housemate at the networking event. You see that my struggles are real.

Here's a trailer, and perhaps it is official:

At first glance, it looks like just another cool story of a football movie inspired by true events. But it's particularly mind boggling that a high school team had a record 150+ win streak until the time that they lost, and this movie is about those real life struggles surrounding that time when the team endured a lot of suffering on and off the field. And. Lost. The. Streak.

Again, since this isn't a review, I want to highlight a few of the themes that stood out to me from watching this movie.

Brotherhood

I can always appreciate moments and themes in movies when the men don't act selfishly, but rather for each other or for the greater good. No one can stand alone, but together, they are strong. And When The Game Stands Tall gave me tangible moments where this idea of brotherhood was crucial to not just be successful at football, but also a sense of brotherhood that transcends from the game.  A few characters in the movie try to act in a self-centered way, but they eventually realized that it's not all about them. With the idea of brotherhood also comes the idea of sacrifice, whereby someone surrenders their ego and humbly do what they ought to do. That's cool. And When The Game Stands Tall gives several moments of bro-ness.

This stood out to me because, in a way, I yearn for that sense of brotherhood. Luckily, I'm in a living situation where that's about the closest thing I have. And it's pretty cool.

The Integration of Virtues and Life
I think the overall theme of the movie, which is Coach Bob Ladouceur's (Jim Caviezel) mission as a coach, is to teach these young men not just the football skills the successful, but the virtues needed to be the men they are created to be on AND off the field as well. "Coach Lad", as he is affectionately known, really tries hard at instilling in his team the idea of brotherhood and not being all for oneself ...and everything that it requires. He desires that his guys use football as a means to grow as men so that when they're off the field, they're still living out a life of virtue.

I recently helped give a workshop to some 60+ young men in high school at a youth Catholic conference. And this idea of living a virtuous life is totally cool and, really, a genuine expression of living out authentic masculinity. One of my buddy speakers for the workshop gave some personal experiences where he failed to be a man by not integrating virtues in his life decisions, and also experiences where he used virtues to be a man and do what is right, especially at his place of employment.

I think When The Game Stands Tall really highlights the importance of living out virtues in everything that we do because we are called as men to be virtuous. You see, I struggle with living a virtuous life. It's an everymoment choice, but I know I need to. I cannot have a sense of brotherhood if I am not first an authentic man. I cannot be who I need to be for others until I have grown the habit of living out virtues. This is the real struggle. And it's worth it.

It's Not About The Reward
What I also thought that was pretty cool is how Coach Lad handled the team post-streak. I mean, if I were in their cleats knowing that we've had a 150 win streak, I would be incredibly tempted to play my game as if it were all about the streak. His whole deal is about teaching his team virtues and doing what they need to do on the field, and the fruit of that should translate into a win. He even puts some of his guys in their place for expressing that it's all about the streak or it's all about breaking records. He really stressed that their success depends on doing what they ought to do and being virtuous on (and off!) the field.

I think the best example of this in the movie is when a parent basically uses their player as a trophy-getter. In other words, the parent was all about the rewards of the game. But much to their dismay, their player learned that the game isn't about winning or breaking records. And I'll leave it at that.

Too many times in my life, I've been all about the achievement of status. As I've been too focused on a goal, I've neglected doing what I need to do in order that the fruit of my effort results in achievement. After watching When The Game Stands Tall, it helped remind me that life isn't about the rewards but doing what I need and ought to do.

And now a very brief review: acting isn't totally awesome, but Jim Caviezel captures who the real Coach Bob Ladouceur is; football scenes are pretty epic and action-y; transitions in the plot were too fast in the beginning; and I dig the end credits.

I haven't been to a movie in a long while (ever?) that has really been, at least, inspirational to me in a practical way. I can start living out what I've learned from this movie almost immediately. And that's cool.

I highly recommend this movie for when it comes out at the end of August. It's a good movie for those who enjoy football and really cool football stories. I think those who are coaches, teachers, and those who work in ministry should go see this movie because there is so much to pull from to be used as a teaching tool for players/students. I mean, I only covered a few themes and only covered them lightly!

Coming to a theater near you, August 22.
- JD

When The Game Stands Tall poster // Wikipedia
Longhorn fan crying // ShaggyBevo.com
Huddle // Sony Pictures
Coaches // USA Today

Proud

So I didn't pack a lunch this morning.

And because I didn't pack a lunch this morning, I fully intended to spend money at my work's cafeteria.

I've been training with a coworker for the past week and a half, and he's normally one to bring his own lunch and eat at his desk.

However! Today, he happenchance'd to invite me to eat lunch in the cafeteria as an easy way to meet up for me to transition over to his area (since he works on the completely opposite side of the plant from me).

I got to meet a few of his buddies at lunch as I enjoyed a delicious taco salad. Pico de gallo. Mmm.

My coworker-who-is-training-me is expecting his third child to be born here very soon, and that was a topic of discussion during our consumption of foodstuffs at lunch. I kind of got the vibe that his two buddies eating lunch would make fun of him. You know, because it's totally bro to make fun of the bro who is tied down in marriage having kids (sigh).

But he said something that resonated really well with me like a resounding chorus of djembes. Why djembes? I dunno, but it was awesome. In the discussion about kids, he briefly talked about his two-year old daughter who is now beginning to talk. He said something to the effect of, "The best word in the world is 'daddy'." He continued on with something like, "There's nothing more awesome than being called 'daddy' by your children."

Because of my initial shyness around new people, I didn't outwardly express my agreement with him apart from a nod and a big smile. On the inside, I briefly reflected on how awesome of a profound thing that he just said. Without a doubt, I know he has a sense of pride because I could sense it from him as he made these comments.

To me, it just makes total sense! Why shouldn't a father feel immense pride to hear his own kids call him what he is? A daddy! A father!

You see, in this brief moment, he modeled what authentic masculinity is to me. And that sort of pride, that sort of comment, resounds well with me because that's something I hope to one day experience. A very full and authentic expression of what it means to be a man.

Daddy.
- JD

Picture of father and daughter from Or So She Says...

Because of Eli

A little over a month ago, I blogged about this Catholic Answer's radio show featuring Chad Judice as the guest. If you recall, his son, Eli, was diagnosed with spina bifida and wasn't expected to live or have good quality of life. As I heard Chad talk about this story regarding on his son on the radio, I was inspired to hopefully read Chad's books regarding Eli someday.

Well, I didn't mention it after I had written that blog post, but literally the following week I found out my parish's Respect Life Committee would be hosting Chad Judice at our parish in the month of November to kick off their new series of events entitled, "Fridays for Life", where they will invite someone every quarter to talk about pro-lifey things. Like, I had no idea that they were planning on inviting him! So when I found out he would be coming to my parish to come speak, I couldn't pass up that opportunity. 

And that happened the other day!

What did he talk about?

Even though I had heard the basic gist of Eli's story via that radio show and a little bit from Chad's EWTN appearance on The World Over, it was definitely more gripping to listen to him speak in person. He shared with us the state of his life prior to Eli and how normal it was. He's a history teacher and coach, and one time one of his students asked Chad before he got married what his greatest fear was, and he answered with having a child with special needs. Before Eli, Chad's faith was meh.

After giving us this background, he began to recount the process of how he and his wife found out about Eli's condition with spina bifida. Their doctor recommended abortion and for a moment, she considered it. But something stirred within them to decide to keep the baby.

The parts of the entirety of the story that stood out to me were those seemingly miraculous (or coincidental) moments. Chad teaches at a Catholic high school, and it was miraculous to him that hundreds of teenagers genuinely prayed for Eli's healing. This was miraculous to him because our culture today doesn't make it conducive for the average teenager to care about this sort of thing, AND the fact that they prayed showed him that they acknowledged that Eli is in fact a human being in his mother's womb and not just a clump of cells with deformities.

What I also found quite interesting is how the Daily or Sunday Gospel readings over the course of this process seem to fit soooooo well with whatever Chad was dealing with at the time. He shared with us those readings that were cause of hope and inspiration for him at major milestones throughout this process.

Chad also detailed how his life of prayer increased in dealing with all the emotional and spiritual challenges in accepting the fact that his son isn't going to live a normal life. He provided more seemingly miraculous moments when praying at the grave of Charlene Richard, who is on her way to beatification. Chad and his wife went to a "healing priest". His wife received a rose after praying a novena for St. Therese of Lisieux's intercession, which for every knowledgeable Catholic, that's a real deal. And he listed many more instances of how God seemed to have offered him and his wife consolations in their decision to have Eli, but not without challenges.

Eli was born in 2009. Despite spinal and neuro problems from his condition, he's doing pretty good. He cannot walk. He cannot go to the bathroom on his own--someone else has to manually empty his bladder or induce a bowel movement. He's on medications to prevent epilepsy and urinary tract infection. He loves to swim. He loves baseball. He's pretty cognitive despite brain problems. He's in pre-3K. It takes full effort from everyone around him to take care of him. Chad mentioned that his in-laws and his own parents are pretty involved in taking care of him and are on rotation for weekends.

How did this affect me?

I think spent 75% of the time reminding myself not to cry. In my head, I kept saying to myself "Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry!" I guess I was just moved by Chad's inner strength at dealing with all this because I realized that if I were in his shoes, I don't think I could handle it. But that's where his story is inspiring. Chad couldn't handle all this on his own. He realized he had to surrender to God's will, and in doing so, he found the strength to endure this. He also realized that he can longer live for himself. That whole idea of agape love (self-sacrificial love) made manifest in caring for Eli, because without the love and care of others, he would die. But to care for him demands so much time and effort, even if it's inconvenient or unpleasant. Chad said, "love isn't about feelings--it's a decision." And I see in the Judice's lives that self-sacrificial decision to will the good of each other and the good of Eli, which is authentic, profound love. Inspiring!

But yeah, I began to start reflecting on my own prayer life and thinking about my own inner strength while listening to Chad's story. I realized that I have a lot to improve on. Haha sometimes I feel like I'm too Catholic in a group of Catholics, but I'm glad that I had the opportunity to listen to Chad to help me realize that I'm not Catholic enough...that I'm not trusting enough of God's will for my life.

After his talk and taking some questions, I definitely went and bought his two books. The first one, Waiting for Eli, is the story about Eli. The second one, Eli's Reach, is about other people whose lives were affected by learning about Eli's story. Like, seriously--stories of conversion and hope because they've read Chad's first book. He gave us a preview at the end of the talk (ie. shameless plug, but that's understandable). Fascinating! I hope to start these books sometime after I finish some of the current books I'm currently reading!

Anyway, what a cool opportunity to hear him speak. Please pray for him and his family, especially for Eli!

You can follow Chad Judice at www.chadjudice.com, which has links to his social medias and books.

We need stories of hope and inspiration, and be reminded that there's only so much we can do and control. The rest is up to God. And I'm glad I had the opportunity to hear Chad tell this story in person.

Because of Eli.

- JD

Daddy-Daughter Time

I was just standing there outside, and it was really hot. It was really hard to focus. But out of the corner of my eye, I saw him, his wife, and a stroller.

Double-take.

Whoa! It was one of my co-workers! I didn't expect him to be out here with me considering our company is like...80 miles away...from where we were standing and he lives halfway to work compared to me.  I didn't immediately go over to say hi to him because we weren't done yet, but I kept watch from a short distance away.

During this time, I would look over his way and and every now and then, he'd check on his daughter in the stroller.  And what really struck me about this was seeing his face light up with such joy peeking in on the stroller seeing his daughter. Like, full on "play with baby" mode. Like, he even playfully dangled his Rosary for his daughter. Meanwhile, his wife was standing there deep in prayer.

I don't know. I thought that was really cool to see these moments of joy between a father being with his daughter. I just really appreciated seeing this scene standing out there in the heat.

After we all finished praying the full Rosary, I went over to say hi. He introduced me to his beautiful wife and just as beautiful and adorably cute daughter. Apparently today was his first time being out here!

Well, well. Being pro-life unites us all.

We were praying at an abortion clinic. Turns out his wife is hardcore for the pro-life cause and frequently helps out at a familiar pregnancy center in the city that they live in.

And ...how...interesting is to see this love that a father has for his baby daughter in front of an abortion clinic.

Awesome! What a marvelous witness that is to see this happen at a place that doesn't make it conducive to see the love a father has for his daughter. I saw a couple walk in and thought to myself that if they are considering an abortion, and go through with it, he'd be missing out on moments like this.

But! Praise God for randomly seeing one of my co-workers in this way at this place. Beautiful.
- JD

Dad and Daughter // Baltimore Times

Working Out In Silence

Shhh

About two months ago, I posted on my blog how I was MIA due to being super busy with other things, and how I grew in appreciation for spending time in silence.  I also mentioned how I was invited and encouraged to go on a silent retreat by a consecrated woman in Regnum Christi, which is an apostolic movement at the service of mankind and the Church.

Awesome.

Well...a few weeks after that invitation, I actually did end up signing up for this silent retreat she mentioned.  Specifically, it was a silent retreat for young men to do spiritual exercises according to St. Ignatius of Loyola, who was the founder of the Society of Jesus (or more commonly known as the Jesuits).  This retreat was led by a priest from the Legionaries of Christ (which is another movement in the Church, but who also shares the same founder as Regnum Christi...but the Legionaries specifically refer to the priests).

Actually, I signed up in a fleeting manner. One night, I thought to myself, "Self, if I don't sign up now, I'll never sign up."  Procrastination is a dish best served later, but ends with a gourmet of total ignorance.  So, I signed up with hesitation of potential hesitation.

Now, I've never been on a silent retreat before, much less going to one with any sort of disciplined spiritual exercises.  I didn't really know what to expect or how to prepare.  The retreat was about a month ago, and it was held at a retreat center owned by the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth (these sisters specialize in helping out families) in Grand Prairie, TX.  Apparently their convent also features this surprisingly nice retreat center.  So yes! I have stayed at a convent. Or rather...a convent's retreat center ;-).

The week prior to the retreat, I had a really terrible week at work.  I made an unintentional mistake that caused a lot of drama, and I felt really horrible about it.  Like, Wednesday and Thursday of that week were bad enough that I just wanted to be in isolation and not do my usual Wednesday and Thursday things.  The Friday of the retreat, I had opportunities to recover from my mistake and that translated to staying at work way longer than I intended.  My work is like...~60 miles from home and home is about ~20 miles from the retreat center.  That's almost 2 hours of driving with traffic!  The retreat started at 6:30PM. I typically prefer not to show up late to things despite my Filipino background (Filipino Time is a lot like Latino Time), and I left work at 4:30PM.  So you can see why on my way home I was freaking out because I left work late.  I was dealing with all my burdens from the terrible work week, and I was super worried about running into heavy traffic because it was Friday.  Long dramatic story short, I actually made it on time even though I had to stop by home to pack.

Whew.

This was a silent retreat.  I thought it meant "no one make a sound evarrrrrr" the whole weekend.  But no, it actually meant "no talking to others" with the motivation that all the talking will be with God only.  This is necessary to bring about the focus of mind and heart to be open and receptive to anything that God wants to say.  However, there were times we had to speak because in Catholic prayers, oftentimes a priest or leader will say a line of the prayer, and the rest of us respond vocally with the rest of the words.  I was also asked to lead a reading during our praying of the Way of the Cross (also called the Stations of the Cross, which is a prayerful way of walking through Jesus' Passion and death).  I also volunteered to proclaim God's Word during our celebration of Mass on Saturday.  So as you see, there were times when I could speak.  But when was I silent?

Our retreat master (fancy name for the one in charge, leading the retreat) led us through guided meditations through the weekend as prescribed by St. Ignatius in his spiritual exercises.  In these meditations, we focused in on different themes like God's immensity and existence, on Jesus' Passion, the purpose of man, the reality of sin, etc.  After guiding us through these meditations, we then spent some time contemplating these meditations.  This is where the silence was beneficial.

Now, I found out at some point during the retreat that St. Ignatius actually intended spiritual exercises to be done over the course of 30 days.  Most people who go through it follow an 8-day version.  We had to squeeze the highlights in a weekend.  o_O  So indeed, we did not cover every meditation, but at the very least we covered the highlights.

Reflecting on these themes we highlighted, I needed to ask God what is it He wanted me to know or understand.  But was I really listening?  Was I distracted?  Being in silence removed those external noises so that I could better hear God.  He often speaks in the silence of our hearts, and it's hard to pay attention when everything external ...and internal... are noisy.

By meditating and contemplating, I really spent some quality time with our Lord.  I mean, not just in silence but quite literally since the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth has a humble little chapel in their retreat center with the Eucharist in its tabernacle.  This is where I often went after a meditation to further contemplate.  And what I mean by contemplation is really chewing on (not literally) the theme of the meditation(s) and seeing if there's something God wants me to know about that particular theme.  I kept notes in a journal during the meditations and wrote down anything that made me go, "ah hah! that makes sense! thank you God for letting me see it this way!"

During meal times, we still weren't allowed to talk.  Our retreat master played either sacred music or a talk by Vr. Archbishop Fulton Sheen for further contemplation while we consumed our meals, which were all rather delicious and...

One does not simply go on a non-fasting Catholic retreat and go hungry--physically and spiritually.

Saturday night of the silent retreat, we had Eucharistic Adoration.  Our retreat master's original intention was for everyone to do a Holy Hour (which is pretty much a standard Catholic practice to spend an hour in Adoration whenever Adoration is done), but he was challenged.  You see, a few weeks prior to this retreat, Regnum Christi and the Legionaries held a similar silent retreat for young women, and apparently they were all like..."like o. m. gosh...we should totally Adore alllllllll night! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"  And they did.  And then they challenged us guys to do the same sort of thing.  And we're all like, "WE ARE MEN! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"

To make it easier, our retreat master assigned us partners and hours to go to Adoration throughout the night. I was assigned from 5AM to 6AM.  I "retired to my room" after the beginning parts of Adoration and was up for a while "real-life blogging" in my room.  On paper. With a pen.  And that's where I wrote the majority of this blog post. On paper. With a pen.

I got up to do my Holy Hour from 5AM to 6AM.  The night before, our retreat master had suggested we look at the reflection at the back of the book, A Doctor At Calvary by Pierre Barbet.  This was to further our meditations and contemplation on the Passion.  For me, I had asked Jesus if He could let me feel the darkness He felt in the garden of Gethsemane.  Such a profound stress bearing the weight of sin that He sweated blood.  Dr. Barbet, a surgeon, examines Jesus' Passion from a medical perspective.  I was engrossed in it because the medical perspective is fascinating and adds an even more terrifying dimension to everything He had to endure.  There was a point where I ...couldn't stand to read further because the medical descriptions were too graphic.  But I kept going. The fruit of me reading this reflection led to my blog post, Ecce Homo!, where I describe this meditation on the Passion and Adoration experience a little more.

As far as any other "revelations" or "lights" that I had during the retreat... Really, I mostly saw this time as a time of peace and rest because the week leading up to the retreat, I had a terrible week at work.  This time also helped me build confidence in my ability to shut out the world to spend quality time with God. But one thing did stand out to me rather clearly, which I won't blog about now because it requires further prayer.

During my time during the retreat, I didn't really get to know the guys also in attendance apart from interacting with them before the silence went in effect on Friday night and after Mass on Sunday.  They all had their various reasons for attending this retreat, and they all enjoyed their own fruits from it as well.  I didn't recognize anyone in attendance so I really went on my own for this retreat, which is unusual for me.  Met a fellow Aggie! But that's not important.

So I mentioned how that we were basically covering a normally lengthy retreat with spiritual exercises into one weekend.  And so, it was pretty much constant meditation, contemplation, reading, thinking, praying, sitting, kneeling, standing, walking...with meal breaks.  And all of that was surprisingly exhausting!  Even though I didn't really do much physically...

These meditations and subsequent contemplation in addition to all the prayer is the core of spiritual exercises.  Hence, working out. Spiritually.  But since this was a silent retreat...this was working out, spiritually, in silence.  How often do I consider working out my interior?  If I'm willing to get up at 4AM on a Saturday morning to go running and swimming...am I willing to take the time to meditate? Contemplate? Pray?  And yes, spiritual reps do require spiritual resting time in-between.  And do I hold in higher regard my exterior than my interior? Do I spend as much time working out externally as I do working out internally? As a guy, what good does looking good externally if my interior doesn't look good?  These are questions I ask of myself for further reflection.

Silent "squats" and profound "pushups"
- JD

"Ecce homo!"

Depiction of "Ecce homo!" by Antonio Ciseri

This past Sunday, I wrote about how during Palm Sunday Mass, we read through Jesus' final hours from his arrest to his death and burial for our Gospel reading.

Easter is tomorrow! And that marks a joyous occasion for every Christian life because we celebrate an empty tomb because He is not there!  He is risen! Jesus wasn't joking!  Last year I wrote about how I noticed (seeming coincidentally) how nature itself was signifying Lent and preparing for the Resurrection.  But this year...I wanted to focus on something else--perhaps the true reason for the season.

As a Christian, it's always tempting to focus on the "feel good" parts of the faith.  Or on the "feel good" parts of Scripture. And Jesus' Resurrection is definitely one of those "feel good" moments because yes, He conquered death! Yes, He opened up Heaven! Yes, this is the source of our future resurrection in Him! Yes the Resurrection is what saves us! And all that jazz.

But sometimes it's too easy to get caught up in all that, as if it was the only thing that mattered or the only thing that I should focus on as a Christian.  But, in learning more about my faith and gaining a deeper understanding of it, I've come to know and appreciate that the Resurrection means absolutely nothing unless Jesus died.  In other words, there would be no point to the Resurrection unless Jesus first had to die.

And not just any kind of death.

No, no.

Death! On a cross.  But even the death on a cross is just a portion of all that He had to endure.

What Is Love? An Example

I saw this video floating around the little slice of the Catholic blogosphere/Twitterverse that I happen to observe on a frequent basis.

What is love? Is it always about the romance and the feelings and emotions?  Maybe not.  Maybe it's more about desiring the good of the other.

And this short video sticks out to me moreso because wow--what a model of authentic masculinity!  If I allow myself to be too sold into the modern definition of masculinity, I find it really easy to be who I am not.

Lastly, one of the joys of being Catholic and single is that I get to reflect and ask myself some difficult-yet-necessary questions for marriage:  do I desire the ultimate good of my future wife? will I protect and provide for her? even if I don't feel like I love my future wife, do I still love her? am I the man God calls me to be, as He created me to be?

Who am I for my future wife?
- JD

The Cost of Unmanliness

When I was in high school, I was a cashier at a chain hobby store.  I worked there starting my senior year of high school up until the summer prior to my sophomore year of college.  In my later years of college and even after I graduated, I worked at local recreation center as a front desk customer service representative.  And right now, I'm an engineer at a manufacturing company of commercial airline seating.  Moving up and up, haha.

But all three of these places of employment seem to share an unfortunate commonality with each other, especially this past week at my current job.

Hmm.  Let's take a look.  At the hobby store, one of my managers was let go, if I remember correctly.  At the rec center, one of my managers was also let go or fired.  This past week at work, two engineers were fired.  But why? For sexual harassment or making inappropriate jokes that could be construed as sexual harassment to or around women.  And the women said something to someone.

I don't deem it necessary for details (mostly because I don't have first-hand details), but that's essentially why these men were let go or fired--for reasons of harassment in one way or another.

Not cool.  

Making such jokes or talking to women in such way is not a good thing because it is rooted in selfish desires. Not only that, but sexual desires are spoken of in a twisted manner rather than its beauty--does anyone ever talk about sexual things in a beautiful way, anymore?  And lastly and worst of all, it dishonors and disrespects the women these jokes are aimed at.  

So...all of us guys need to be wary and cognizant of what we say and do in regards to how we view women on a daily basis.  The temptation to have "guy locker room talk" is definitely out there and sometimes one slip up is enough to cost us a reputation and job.  But!  We're better than that.  We're made for greatness.  Us men are made in the image and likeness of God, and guess what--so are women!  They are our equal in dignity.  If we cannot recognize their dignity, then we fall short of what it means to be men as God created us to be.

From here on out, I'll try to turn stereotypical "guy conversations" around by speaking of the beauty and dignity of the fairer sex.  I've typically tried to avoid such conversations, even among close friends, in order to avoid awkwardness, but that's not standing up for what I really believe in.

Or how about doing something for women rather than objectifying them and using them?  Like, going out of your way to change their tire.

Unmanliness must decrease, so that manliness can increase.

- JD 

Saved

So I have a habit of praying in front of abortion clinics from time to time.  Today was one of those times!

I've briefly alluded in a previous blog post (which was a pretty awesome first-hand experience) that I typically go with some youth and adults from my parish to everyone's favorite abortion clinic, Planned Parenthood.  And that's where we went to this morning.  

Due to hanging around back at our parish for carpooling, we arrived at the clinic at like 8:15AM, and the group already there had already started the Rosary.  I rode over with our diocese's Youth For Life coordinator, and when we arrived, she went off to go be a sidewalk counselor.  Another sidewalk counselor showed up later.  It wasn't particularly busy at Planned Parenthood this morning...the Youth For Life coordinator decided to go check out our other favorite abortion clinic to see what was up over there.  We progressed through the Mysteries, and after a while, the coordinator came back saying that some of us needed to go over to our other favorite abortion clinic to provide some prayerful reinforcements.  And some of the adults of our group go off and went to the other clinic while we finished up with our Mysteries and litany.

After we finished up, our youth minister suggested we go over to our other favorite abortion clinic to go drop a Divine Mercy bomb by praying the aptly named Chaplet.  So we roll on over there.  The previous members of our group were getting ready to leave...and...man...in the words of our youth minister, "It looks like a movie out here!" upon noticing both sides of the street divided by pro-lifers and pro-choicers with signs.  (sidenote: I need to blog about this other favorite clinic...)

And in the back corner, away from all of them are our favorite Franciscans! ....two of the brothers from the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal!  A relief to see them!  We exchanged greetings and proceeded with the Divine Mercy Chaplet.  

After finishing the Chaplet, the other sidewalk counselor from earlier at Planned Parenthood showed up.  And...she started talking to our Youth For Life coordinator (who was sidewalk counselor-ing earlier, as well) to talk about a "save."

!!!!!

Ms. Other Sidewalk Counselor (I forget her name), told us that there was a "save!"  Apparently a father was outside of the Planned Parenthood frantically trying to convince his daughter to change her mind about going through the procedure.  And she did.

Backup. Rewind.

So, apparently before anyone from our group got to Planned Parenthood this morning, our youth minister was by himself praying on the sidewalk in front.  He had noticed a grandmother, a dad, and a college-aged daughter (evidenced by the sorority shirt she was wearing) walk into Planned Parenthood.  Just an exchange of awkward glances.  No dialogue or whatever.

So, Ms. Other Sidewalk Counselor noticed the dad outside whenever we finished up at Planned Parenthood and she called him over.  She offered information and help.  Which, then caused the dad to try to contact the college-aged daughter inside of the clinic.  And the daughter and grandmother did end up leaving the clinic.  With smiles on their faces! With joy! With relief!  

And as MS. Other Sidewalk Counselor was conveying that...I couldn't help but feel joy too knowing that our efforts today...whether direct or indirect...was enough to help a family reconsider their life-giving options.  Not every woman that walks into these clinics know what other options they have.

Cool stuff.  A "save" indeed.  I give props to the dad for doing the fatherly and manly thing--to protect and to provide.  And he only knew he can do so since a sidewalk counselor was there to provide the resources he needed.  He was able to protect his grandchild from harm, and he was able to protect his daughter from the harm from an abortion.  Awesome.

Stray thoughts regarding pro-lifey things...I've been thinking about becoming a sidewalk counselor myself.  I think I'm scheduled for training coming up in a month.  I'm excited! And nervous!  It's not an easy ministry.

Lastly, the next 40 Days for Life campaign starts this Wednesday and I am signed up for an hour once a week, like last year.  Do expect some blogging as a result of that!

Anyway, please continue to pray for this family that decided on the right choice this morning.  The road ahead will be a challenging one.  And keep unborn babies, mothers, fathers, clinic workers, and abortion doctors in your prayers as well. 

- JD

PS Seriously, the other "save" I've been a part of was pretty amazing.  I detail it here in a previous blog post.

Catholic Partyin'

Nuns have fun too, but this blog post about being Catholic at a bachelor party.

I'm currently sitting at an airport in Corpus Christi, TX waiting for a flight back home. I just got done spending time with two of my college buddies and their friends for my college buddies' combined bachelor party. They're getting married in a month and their weddings are two weeks part. Fun fact: they are each others' best man. Crazy, huh? I'm quite blessed and honored to be a groomsman in both of their weddings. I love those guys in a total bro way.

In summary, we didn't live out a plot line worthy of The Hangover 3, but the weekend was still full of adventure and some stereotypical bachelor party things.

I'm grateful that nothing crazy happened like someone harmed themselves or others from being too drunk, no wild cats ended up locked in the bathroom, no one got arrested, no nudity, no one got eaten by sharks, no one got mauled by seagulls and everyone still had lots of fun. I survived the weekend without a pressing need to make an appointment with a priest just to go to Confession, haha.

But without wasting time divulging the details from this weekend, I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I saw, heard, and experienced.

Because, being where I'm at now in my Catholic faith...it's difficult NOT to see the world through a Catholic lens. Even at bachelor parties.

This weekend made me think more about what it means to be a man. Not just any man, but man created in the image and likeness of God. How should he act and think? Does his outward expressions reflect his interior?  Questions like that. I know that, being a guy, we're built to be easily captivated by woman and her beauty, but it is easy to fall into wanting to satiate selfish desires. Too easy to view her as mere piece of flesh for the eyes and imagination to devour rather than seeing her soul past her outer beauty. And too much alcohol clouds the mind, the heart, and the eyes.

Also, this weekend made me think more about the vocation of marriage. It's interesting because for the man-about-to-be-married, he realizes that he must share in the life of another person and through that love...ANOTHER person comes to be. But sometimes I get the vibe from couples that married life is more about the husband and wife and not their future kids. And that's awkward to me. Really awkward.  Also, for the single guy or guy in a somewhat committed dating relationship with friends about-to-be married, it seems that the idea of marriage is like death.

(awkward pause where I don't do more blogging on the 45-minute flight back home because I'm an aerospace nerd and I was marveling at the wing and engine outside my window and then appreciated the tracts and tracts of land devoted to agriculture as observed from my vantage point thousands of feet in the air)

Why, to some guys, is marriage akin to death, worthy of the funeral march instead of wedding bells?  Is it because a married man is no longer a man free to do as he pleases?  That he can no longer enjoy non-commitment?  That his bros are no longer his highest priority?  Perhaps there is an element of truth of how getting married is like death.  No, it IS death--the death of self.  A man, if is he to live out true masculinity in marriage, needs to be willing to sacrifice his selfishness...his ego...his self-centeredness...his life...for her.  For her good.  To place her above himself.  To heaven.  It's not easy.  It's supposed to be difficult.  Where's the sense of adventure when he takes the easy route of looking and behaving inwardly?

Anyway, in brief summary...there's a lot to be thinking about in terms of what it means to be a man and what marriage means whenever you're at a bachelor party.  Worthy for other blog posts, undoubtedly.

Besides all that, there was other Catholic winning this weekend!

A friend I hadn't heard from in over a year...randomly calls me an an opportune lull in our bachelor partyin' to let me know that he has opened his heart to learn more about Catholicism.  Needless to say...I kind of disappeared from the rest of the guys for a while and ended up talking to my friend for over and hour to see where he was at and talk more about Catholicism.  Pretty dang awesome.  I'm so stoked to hear about stuff like that!

I feel like I should have blogged about or posted this somewhere...but...part of my devotions in participating in Fortnight 4 Freedom...is to pray a Rosary each day of the fortnight.  I have grown lax in my devoting a Rosary every day lately, and I have a renewed sense of commitment during this fortnight.  Not even a bachelor party stopped me from taking some time to do a Rosary each day!  What was really cool is I even got one of my friends who is getting married to join me for some Joyful praying ;-)

Lastly, I heard a Matt Maher song playing on the radio while on a Whataburger run this morning.  Sometimes all you gotta do is turn around!...and head back to the condo after securing some breakfast sandwiches...haha.

In conclusion, I had a pretty awesome weekend.  I hardly get the chance to hang out with my friends from college, and I'm grateful I had this opportunity to spend time with them before I show up as a groomsman for both their weddings next month.  Through stereotypical guy talk and life talk from a guy's perspective, I'm able to see the wisdom in having a Catholic perspective.  And it's not that hard to live out my Catholic faith in simple ways so as long as I will it and commit to doing it--while being receptive to those random out-of-the-blue moments, of course.

For ye-who-readeth this blog post, please keep my Future-Catholic-Friend-On-The-Phone in your prayers, that he continues to be open and receptive in all that the Catholic faith has to offer and that his desire to seek truth leads him closer to the greatest Truth of all--God.  Also keep my two College-Buddies-Who-Get-Married-Next-Month in your prayers, that they become prepared to take on the adventure that is marriage that images God's love.  Lastly, keep the rest of us guys also present at the bachelor party in your prayers, that we learn to live out authentic masculinity.  Deep down, that is what we, guys, all desire to do--to live as real men.

My life is Catholic.
- JD

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 4

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 3

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)