The Reality of Death

And I can say with confidence that...

We're all going to die.

My grandparents' graves

It is inevitable.

When I was younger, I attended the funerals of distant (both in blood and literally) family members, and it never really mattered to me. Like, I had no attachment to them. Sure, it was sad, but being young and not really fully appreciating what it means to grieve and mourn, it never hit me. I knew those distant family members were gone, I understood why my parents were sad, but I didn't really, truly care. It wasn't until I was an underclassman in high school that the reality of death became real to me with the death of my grandparents on my dad's side.

I actually got to know my grandparents. Even though they lived in California and I in Texas, my parents made sure that we got to visit them and that they got to visit us frequently while I was growing up. When all my dad's siblings immigrated here from the Philippines, we held annual family reunions! So, losing them at the beginning of high school was pretty hard.

With their deaths, I began to ask myself, in sadness..."How can I cope with the loss?", "Are they in heaven?" and other usual questions.

I lost my grandfather at the beginning of my freshman year of high school. Things were going downhill for him that summer. I forget what caused him to decline, but I think it had something to do with cysts that developed internally that compromised his health. I remember visiting him in the hospital and a month later having to attend his funeral. His was the first funeral I've ever been to for a close family member.

My grandmother passed away almost exactly a year later. Her memory was declining at the time of my grandfather's death, and I remember my aunt telling me that she could hear my grandfather calling out to her from beyond the grave. Creepily romantic, yeah? Late in the summer that year, she fell down and hit her head. She survived it for a while, but eventually she passed away.

When she passed away, yes, I was indeed really sad about it. But having gone through the process of grieving and mourning for my grandfather the year prior, I was more prepared this time around. But even more so, in that time between my grandfather's and grandmother's passing, I grew in my Catholic faith.

I started attending religious education classes at the start of high school as part of my learning and education in preparation for the sacrament of Confirmation. My grandfather passed away at the beginning of my freshman year, and I didn't really know how to cope. Thankfully, through those classes, I began to pay more attention to and learn more about the faith that my family has passed on to me. While I may not have understood the Catholic understanding of suffering and death at the time (maybe I still don't, or not that well), I knew that in dealing with my losses that the Catholic faith was something I could turn to. And yes, with both of their passings, I'm pretty sure I leveled up in my praying.

How can I cope? I don't know, but perhaps asking God to give my grandparents a nice little plot of heaven would be great. At least I know they'll be taken care of.

How can I deal with this sense of loss? I don't know, but maybe by asking God for a sense of peace and calm for my own sake would help me move on.

I'm pretty sure that in going through the process of the deaths of my grandparents helped solidify, in a real way, for me about being Catholic. I first realized I had to have humility. My grandparents don't belong to me nor to my dad and his many siblings. They belong to God. I had to acknowledge that there really is a God and that whenever we pass away, we hopefully return to His loving embrace in heaven. I also had to realize that the Church has given me ways to pray. When my grandmother was in the hospital, I took up a devotion to the Rosary because I didn't know how else to pray for her. Or myself. Or my family.

With praying and beginning to dive deeper into my Catholic faith, I could begin to make sense of death and how to deal with it.

So, with the passing of my grandparents, it became so, so, so real to me that...

Death is a reality. 

But there was this jerk who lived 2000 years ago who Death could not hold (that's why He's a jerk...to Death). He rose from the dead in all glory and power like He said He would. He showed us that death is not the end, and He invites us to be with Him and the Father who sent Him. Because of Him, the gates of heaven burst open! And heaven is where we can enjoy a sense of eternal joy and peace!

O Death, where is thy sting?!

...well maybe if Death had a stinger... o_O #joke

Knowing about Jesus, His Death, and His Resurrection...and His Church, I can arrive at a sense of peace when dealing with a loss.

And perhaps that's the attraction of Catholicism--that it provides a way of peace and sense in dealing with the reality of death and the teachings of Jesus on the reality of what comes after death. Catholicism doesn't have a cheap or cheesy understanding of the matter, but rather a beautifully rich and full sense of death and resurrection. And the "last things": heaven and hell.

So yeah. Looking back since then, I think coping with death always helps me turn towards my Catholic faith because through it, at least I know there is meaning and purpose. My understanding of the Church's mind on these matters is still a process of learning, understanding, and appreciating even as I deal with the deaths of others that are or are not close to me.

Please pray for my grandparents and for the repose of their souls! That they may enjoy the beatific vision of God in heaven!

- JD

Not A Review On Gravity

In this edition of "Oh hey, I noticed something  Catholic about this movie-that-isn't-intended-to-be-Catholic", I want to talk about Gravity.

I had the opportunity to go watch Gravity the other day, and I liked it! I was intrigued by the trailer with Sandra Bullock's and George Clooney's characters seemingly drifting in space hopelessly trying to grab a hold of something. Something about space made my aerospace engineering senses tingle. Had to go see it!

It was kind of a frightening movie only because I couldn't help but think about what I would do in the same situations that those characters faced in the movie. But, without giving anything totally away, I appreciated the Catholic themes present throughout the movie.

Silence
This is important to know--you can't hear sounds in space. Or rather, you need atmosphere (or not a vacuum) in order to have a small change in pressure that we can refer to as "sound."

But, as important as it is to know that for the beginning of the movie, it's also important as the movie progresses.

Sometimes silence is the only way we can truly be face-to-face with our interior. By interior I mean our deepest thoughts, desires, emotions, etc. In her loneliness in the silence of space, it becomes conducive for Sandra Bullock's character to pray.

In Catholic understanding, we know that God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts. It is easier to listen to His stirring of our hearts in silence rather than the noise of everything we're dealing with.

Beauty
Immediately, it is beautiful to admire the cinematography of the earth below from the characters' perspective. I can't even fathom how amazingly beautiful the earth must look in real life from above, but I'm guessing this movie gives a close approximation.

Even the characters acknowledge how great and beautiful are the various views of the earth as they orbit around it.

Beauty is one the the three transcendentals (the other two being Truth and Goodness).  It gives us a sense of awe and wonder of something infinite and divine that is greater than us. And seeing the earth from the heavens (by that I mean ... really, really, really, really high in the sky) really allows one to see the beauty of God's creation on planet Earth.

Intercessory Prayer
One of the things about being Christian is that we pray for each other. The Catholic faith even teaches that the saints pray for us in heaven.

Like I indicate above, Sandra Bullock's character prays in the movie. She asks for help on how to pray and wonders about if there would be anyone to pray for her. Just that monologue alone exemplifies her prayer for help as she realized that.

There's also that brief cameo of a St. Christopher icon (prayer card?). I didn't really know St. Christopher already from previous knowledge so I had to go look him up. Apparently he may or may not be real, and he lived in the early first centuries after the death of Christ. I think what's significant is that He's often portrayed carrying the Child Jesus who is said to be extremely heavy because He carries the weight of the world. Perhaps ironically in the movie, you can see the whole world in the backdrop of most shots!  And most fittingly, St. Christopher is a patron saint of travelers, especially when they encounter disasters. Hmm.

And those would be the three things that stood out to me in a Catholic way.

I think Fr. Robert Barron gives a more in-depth reflection on what stood out to him. Great video (WATCH OUT! SPOILER ALERTS!!!):



And Marcel points out some other aspects over at his blog at Aggie Catholics: Fr. Barron Gives Us A Great Reflection On The Movie Gravity.

And a movie critic review by Stephen Greydanus: SDG Reviews 'Gravity'

- JD

Info St. Christopher // Catholic.org
St. Christopher Icon // St. Joseph School For Boys Bookstore - Orthodox Gift Shop
Gravity // Space.com

Beauty in America's Got Talent

I've been reflecting on beauty moreso than usual lately. I won't get into why...but...just know that I am.

And...it's always interesting to see how we react and respond to beauty. Truly, if man and woman encounter objective beauty, there's a certain stirring from within that tends towards something infinite. Perhaps a sense of wonder and awe and the desire to be consumed by that beauty.

So, to help illustrate that, I found an example from a popular TV show, America's Got Talent.

This unassuming group pretty much surprised everyone with their singing. Notice that their skillful melodic harmonies evokes a sense of awe, wonder, and surprise from the judges and the audience to the point that the audience even gives a standing ovation even though they aren't even done with their audition! And wow, even Howard Stern looks on and listens with a smile!

We respond in a good way whenever we have a true encounter with beauty. Sure, the song they performed is in Latin, but they do it so. freakin'. well! And that, in and of itself, is beautiful.

And you know what? This is totally Catholic. Anything that is Good, True, and Beautiful? That becomes inherently Catholic even though it might not be explicitly Catholic.

But the song they sang is totally a Catholic hymn. 

Here's the YouTube video I saw that inspired me to write this post:

Beauty with a beat.

- JD

Forte - Pie Jesu // Rickey

The First Christian

I was thinking on my way home from work the other week while praying the Rosary...

...who was the first Christian?

...and I couldn't help but think about Mary.

Honestly, she would be the first human on earth to be His follower.  She was the first one to have a personal encounter with Christ even as He was just an embryo. She not only proclaims the greatness of the Lord and rejoices in God her savior with her words, but also by her very body. She shared her very life with Him in the most intimate way that only a mother and child can.  What wondrous love that Mary must have in order to carry the Word Made Flesh...the Word Incarnate...the Lamb of God...the Light of the World...the Son of God...in her very womb.

And what loving mother would not continue following her child after birth? We see Mary at every milestone moment of Jesus' earthly life from conception to death on a cross.

Saying "yes!" to God is absolutely a Christian thing.  And the most important "yes!" in all of human history is Mary's "yes!" to conceive the Son of God as announced to her by the archangel, Gabriel.  How full of grace she must be so as to bear the Son of God in her very womb!

And what expression of Christian joy whenever Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth! So much so that the womb cannot contain John the Baptist's excitement!  And then Mary sings how her soul magnifies the Lord!

And...in the most Christian thing she can do... she literally brought Jesus out into the world! The real nativity! ...not just a yard fixture or a song about a manger!  Angels sing, magi arrive, precious gifts given, and ...behold! The King of Kings! The Word Made Flesh!...in a food trough for animals!

And like any good Christian, she obediently followed the law for her purification after giving birth(though the older, Mosaic one...which her Son now fulfills) by presenting Jesus to the temple when He was an infant.  It was there that she learned that her heart will be pierced and that her Son will redeem the world as prophesied by Simeon.

And like any good Christian, she found Jesus (as if He needed to be found!).  ...which is just a lame play on words Christians like. Mary and Joseph kind of left the temple without realizing Jesus wasn't with them...then they realized it...then they spent a few days looking for him back in Jerusalem.  But they ended up finding Him in the temple, talking amongst the older men.  He reminds her of His purpose, but obediently follows her back to Nazareth.

Like any good Christian, she points others to Jesus. I'm reminded of the scene at the Wedding at Cana when they ran out of booze and Mary pointed to her son.  "Do whatever He tells you." she said.  What did Jesus say? He asked the others to go fetch water, which He turned to wine--anditsallbecauseMarypointedthemtowardsJesus.

And like any good Christian, she endured the worst knowing that redemption can be had through great suffering. She witnessed Jesus' Passion until the end at the foot of the cross, with her Son's blood flowing. Dripping.  And Jesus gives His mother to John, the beloved disciple.  He gives His mother to us.

Sure, these scenes are but a few that Scripture offers in the life of Jesus.  And that's what is great about praying the Rosary--praying with Mary to help me better understand Jesus through her.

I cannot think of any human in all of human existence that knows Jesus better than His own mother.   As a Christian living ~2000 years later, I can make every attempt at getting to know Jesus as His follower, but nothing I do will come close to Mary.  So, I ask for her help.

Now, and at the hour of my death.
- JD

I Should Be Complaining...

...because...the outlook isn't very good.  Career-wise, for my family.

My dad works for a bankrupt airline. And this particular airline likes to exercise their furlough arm.  However, they're recovering.

My mom works for an aerospace defense contractor facing all the ups and mostly downs of "sequestration." Who knows, she may be let go at any known point during this process...

And while business is incredibly good on my side of the aerospace industry...this side of the green grass isn't where I dreamed of being.  The blood, sweat, and tears during college suffering through aerospace engineering...what were they meant for?

Where I so desire to go in the industry... it doesn't look good.

Yet, I do not complain.  Because while the outlook isn't very good at all...my family has been blessed not to have to endure such hardships...yet.  If ever.

So, even when the stresses of my current job forces me to walk down the boulevard of my broken aerospace dreams...I cannot help but be grateful for the opportunities, the blessings, and being spared from unpleasant realities...even if those are hard to recognize or difficult to remember that I even have them.

Thank goodness I'm Catholic.  Without my faith, I wouldn't begin to know how to deal with these anxieties because my first inclination is to dwell on negativities.  And stay there.  But through Christ and His Bride, I am able to find peace ...or at least...peace enough to weather the storm.

- JD

Boeing 747 / Mark Garfinkel @ Airliners.net

Strange Notions

One thing I love about being Catholic is that ... it's surprisingly reasonable. But, it takes learning and digging deeper to understand how Catholicism does not dismiss reason while still faithful to faith.

Actually, it's refreshing to know that

...there can never be any real discrepancy between faith and reason... (CCC 159)

...but that only makes sense in context: Catechism of the Catholic Church Section I, Chapter 3, Article I

I recently found out that Brandon Vogt has launched a new website called StrangeNotions.com.  He's a prominent Catholic blogger/writer/speaker.

Strange Notions is a central place where Catholics and atheists can have charitable dialogue on the big questions regarding life.  I think it speaks for itself much better on its About page than I can summarize here.

What a cool idea!  I know the Internet can be a very hostile place when talking about reason and faith in the same breath, and I'm glad this website makes an attempt at recognizing the dignity of participants while pursuing fruitful discussion.  It's not about winning arguments but rather talking about Truth even if disagreements happen.

And personally, I'm probably going to peruse this website just for my own growth in knowledge and pursuit of expressing a logical, reasoned Catholic faith.  Maybe my engineering mindset motivates me.  Not only that, but I'm rather impressed by Strange Notions' list of main contributors, which includes some of my favorite big names who are no strangers to talking about strange notions and all things Catholic.  I mean, like seriously, these people are pro and I've already learned a lot from their talks, works, videos, blogs, interviews, etc.

Keep it classy and reasonable. ;-)

"Come now, let us reason together." - Isaiah 1:18
- JD

Msgr. Georges Lemaitre / Wikipedia

Stuff Catholic Guys Say

I find that I'm at a point where I have leveled up enough in Catholic nerdiness to appreciate these videos.  Yes, sometimes I do find myself saying Catholic things.

The second one features one of my friends with scapular problems!

Back to discerning because Audrey Assad is married...
- JD

Divine Mercy

Click here to scroll down to instructions on how to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

Before explaining what Divine Mercy is, I should define what is "private revelation." If you already have an understanding, then don't click the following link.

What is private revelation...?

First, what is "public revelation?"  Public revelation is what we know about God through Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition through the deposit of faith given by Him.  God revealed Himself publicly to the Jewish people, and we know this through reading Scripture in the Old Testament.  From the apostles, we know they passed down what Jesus had taught and revealed to them.  God's final, definitive revelation is His Son, Jesus Christ. With that said, the Catholic Church teaches that public revelation ended with the death of the last apostle.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church (emphasis mine):

66 "The Christian economy, therefore, since it is the new and definitive Covenant, will never pass away; and no new public revelation is to be expected before the glorious manifestation of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Dei Verbum 4) Yet even if Revelation is already complete, it has not been made completely explicit; it remains for Christian faith gradually to grasp its full significance over the course of the centuries.

Yes, even if God has revealed everything we need to know about Him in Jesus, our understanding is not completely clear.  Over the course of time, our understanding grows clearer and clearer.  Sort of like going up a river from its mouth where it is muddy and dirty to its source where it is clear.  Or like the sunrise that begins to slowly stretch its rosy fingers over the horizon.

Sometimes God reveals Himself in a very personal way to us.  Or maybe He sends an agent like a saint, an angel, and yes, even His Blessed Mother.  In these instances, He reveals something meant for us personally.  This type of encounter is a "private revelation" which happens all the time, but some individuals may experience a more profound and blatant encounter of God's revelation.  How are we to understand such things?

Again, from the CCC:

67 Throughout the ages, there have been so-called "private" revelations, some of which have been recognized by the authority of the Church.  They do not belong, however, to the deposit of faith.  It is not their role to improve or complete Christ's definitive Revelation, but to help live more fully by it in a certain period of history.  Guided by the magisterium of the Church, the sensus fidelium knows how to discern and welcome in these revelations whatever constitutes an authentic call of Christ or his saints to the Church

Christian faith cannot accept "revelations" that claim to surpass or correct the Revelation of which Christ is the fulfillment, as is the case in certain non-Christian religions and also in certain recent sects which base themselves on such "revelations."

So in other words, "private revelation" is okay as long as it does not conflict with what has already been revealed and that it helps us live more fully in what has already been revealed by God.  How can we be sure that "private revelation" doesn't conflict with something?  The teaching authority of the Catholic Church.  Whenever someone makes a seemingly out-of-ordinary claim through "private revelation," the Church will investigate to make sure that it isn't heretical or contradictory to what we already know through the deposit of faith.  And since the Church has been around since Jesus, who better to keep track of the deposit of faith than she?

The other thing I should highlight about "private revelation" is if it is Church-approved, then we, the faithful, should make attempts to gain deeper understandings of what was revealed.  However, if a "private revelation" is not Church-approved, then we are not required or encouraged to pursue it.

For more explanations, go here:
Private and Public Revelation - EWTN
Private Revelation - Catholic Answers
Apparitions/Private Revelations - EWTN

With all that said (if you read it), that leads me to Divine Mercy.  Essentially, Jesus gave us a clearer understanding of His infinite and divine mercy through private revelations given to a Polish religious sister named St. Maria Faustina Kowalska.

Who is St. Maria Faustina Kowalska?

Her original name is Helena, and she was born into a poor, peasant family in Glogowiec, Poland.  She was the third oldest of ten children, and "from childhood she distinguished herself by her piety, love of prayer, industriousness and obedience as well as by her great sensitivity to human misery" (Diary, xv).  At the age of seven, she started feeling the call to religious life.  Her parents were not keen on letting her join a convent, and she tried repressing her desire to join a convent.  But from a vision of the suffering Jesus, she strengthened her resolve to join a convent.  She ended up in the Congregation of Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy in Warsaw.  There, she received the name Sister Maria Faustina.  She completed her novitiate (basically, the novitiate is the newb stage to religious life) and professed her perpetual vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience after five years of being in the convent.  She worked in various houses for the Congregation in different locations in Poland, especially as cook, gardener, and doorkeeper.

Sr. M. Elizbaeth Siepak writes in the Introduction of St. Faustina's diary:

To all external appearances nothing betrayed her extraordinarily rich mystical life. She zealously went about her duties, she faithfully observed all the religious rules, she was recollected and kept silent, all the while being natural, cheerful, full of kindness and of unselfish love of neighbor.  

Her entire life was concentrated on constant striving for even fuller union with God and on self-sacrificing cooperation with Jesus in the work of saving souls. (Diary, xvi) 

The Lord also endowed her with many graces and gifts.  These include the gift of contemplation with deep knowledge of the mystery of God's mercy, visions, revelations, the hidden stigmata, the gift of prophecy and reading into human souls, and also the rare gift of mystical espousals.  However, she wrote:

Neither graces, nor revelations, nor raptures, nor gifts granted to a soul make it perfect, but rather the intimate union of the soul with God.  ...My sanctity and perfection is based upon the close union of my will with the will of God (Diary, par. 1107)

I'm a fan of that last sentence.  She willed to align her will to that of God's will.

As she grew older, she started having health problems.  And sometimes she experienced a profound spiritual suffering known as the "dark night" where a soul doesn't receive any consolation from God as if He has abandoned the soul.  She grew very sick and eventually died in 1938 at the age of 33.

Because of the life she led, her personal piety and obedience to God's will, and passionately serving as a conduit to God's message of mercy, she was canonized as a saint by Blessed Pope John Paul II in April 2000.

How was Divine Mercy revealed?

She kept a diary, which is out in publication.  Apparently Jesus revealed to her that she should keep one.  I started reading it a while ago, but haven't yet finished it.  In it, she shares her daily struggles with religious life and life in general, but most intriguingly she wrote down what Jesus said to her whenever He appeared. It's almost conversational, as if St. Faustina was really talking to and listening to someone.  Or rather...Someone.

Through these private revelations, it is clear that Jesus was with her throughout her life, especially during her times of suffering.  Though He spoke to her a lot, I want to focus on His message of Divine Mercy.

Again, from the Intro, Sr. M. Elizabeth Siepak summarizes Jesus' mission for St. Faustina:

"Today, I am sending you with My mercy to the people of the whole world. I do not want to punish aching mankind, but I desire to heal it, pressing it to My merciful Heart" (Diary, par. 1588)

"You are the secretary of My mercy; I have chosen you for that office in this and the next life" (Diary, par. 1605) ... "to make known to souls the great mercy that I have for them, and to exhort them to trust in the bottomless depth of My mercy" (Diary, par. 1567) 

Her mission is to remind us about the truths of God's merciful love for us as well as providing us with new ways to have a devotion to The Divine Mercy.  There are several ways to have a devotion to Divine Mercy as revealed to St. Faustina by Jesus. They are as follows:

• The Divine Mercy Image (seen at the top of this post), which is a painting of a vision St. Faustina had of Jesus.  The elements of the image has special meanings.
• The Feast of Divine Mercy, which is the day that Jesus specified to focus on the shelter of His Mercy. He specifically said that the second Sunday of the Easter season (ie. the Sunday after Easter) is to be the Feast of Divine Mercy.  Blessed Pope John Paul II declared in his homily at the canonization of St. Faustina that the second Sunday of Easter will be known as "Divine Mercy Sunday"
• The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, which is a prayer of atonement and appeasement of God's wrath dictated to St. Faustina by Jesus
• The Novena to Divine Mercy, which is a 9-day recitation of the Chaplet in preparation for the Feast of Divine Mercy or for whatever petitions by the faithful
• The Hour of Mercy, which Jesus specified as the third hour whereby the faithful should focus and immerse themselves in his Mercy

More info about each can be found in the intro of her diary by Sr. M Elizabeth Siepak or at DivineMercy.org.

Habemus Diem! The Other March Madness

Following the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI, the Church eagerly awaited for the cardinals to get together and decide on a day to start Conclave.

#visualpun

I heard on Catholic radio last week that with the arrival of the last cardinal elector at the end of the week, they finally decided on starting the Conclave on Tuesday March 12th.  Up until the last week, the cardinals have been having meetings among themselves to discuss whatever they discuss as well as to get a feel for who has the potential to become the next pope.  Lots of prayer too.  And tweeting and blogging, depending on the cardinal.

This is kind of a big deal!  Now is a particularly exciting time in the Catholic Church because we're about to have a new leader! 

Back in 2005, I remember when Blessed Pope John Paul II passed away, but I don't remember following Conclave that much.  I guess because I didn't really pay attention to the news, and the social media outlets we enjoy today were still a twinkle in their creators' eyes or still infantile.  For me, Cardinal Ratzinger came in like "whoosh, now I'm Pope!"  And I was all like, "oh cool!"  And that was that.

Haha but not this time! Now, with a more mature understanding of the Catholic faith, I can follow it with a better degree of appreciation.  The one thing I need to watch out for is making sure that I follow Catholic sources regarding Conclave coverage.  When I say Catholic, I don't mean "Catholic."  And I know that secular and "Catholic" media loves putting forth their bias and lack of full understanding in order to impart ideas and desires that aren't in line with what is truly Catholic.

Catholic New Year's Resolutions

As the new year approaches, I'm sure most people are thinking about and seeking ways to improve themselves with strengthened resolve.  Fresh start! Clean slate! Start anew!

And while we dream up of things like working out more, taking on a new skill, earning some other achievement, etc... How about strengthening our resolve to do something more with our Catholic faith?

Personally, I'm usually on some continuous improvement effort regarding my Catholic faith.  Due to the immensity of Catholicism, sometimes it's best to ease into doing more and learning more.

So I've put together 13 (for 2013!) fairly easy suggestions:

1. Attend Daily Mass once a week. Because believe it or not, we're spoiled as Catholics to be able to worship on a daily basis.  Not every parish offers Mass every day or at convenient times, but surely a parish near you offers something that could work.  I know masstimes.org offers an easy way to search for parishes and their Mass times. For further enticing, daily Mass is often a lot shorter than Sunday Mass. 
2. Pray one of the Liturgy of the Hours once a day.  The second highest form of prayer in the Church is the Divine Office or Liturgy of the Hours (the Mass is the highest).  It's a way to "pray unceasingly," as St. Paul writes, at specific times of the day. Praying the Divine Office is required for clergy and religious, but us lay people can share in this form of prayer with them.  What's cool to think about is that whenever you're praying the Liturgy of the Hours, Catholics around the world are doing the same!  Here's how to pray it, and my favorite app/webapp for it.
3. Abstain from eating meat on all Fridays.  Did you know that as Catholics we're supposed to observe some form of penance on Fridays?  Canon law specifies abstinence from meat throughout the year, not just Lent.  However, bishops can petition the Vatican to allow other forms of penance or charity, which is the case here in the US.  Read more here.  And I personally didn't know that til recently...
4. Read Daily Readings every day. So if you don't make it to Daily Mass...you can at least read the readings for the day!  Just remember that these Daily Readings follow their own schedule apart (though sometimes similar) from Sunday's Readings.  If you see on the left menu of my blog, I link to Fr. Alfonse's Daily Meditations.  He offers his own meditation and thoughts on the Gospel reading and I'm often a fan of his insight and how he relates to the Gospel reading of the day.  Anyway, as St. Jerome once said, "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ."  So don't ignore!
5. Go to Adoration once a week.  Again, we are so spoiled as Catholics that we have opportunities to go before Jesus, truly present--body, blood, soul, and divinity... and just...adore Him.  As Christians, we not only proclaim Him as our lord and savior, but seek that intimate relationship with Him.  And like any relationship, what good does it do by ignoring the other?  What good does it do by not speaking to the other?  We can definitely 'find Jesus in the temple' #JoyfulMysteryPun and just spend time with Him, in person.  Yes, I have had staring contests with Jesus and He always wins. Masstimes.org also gives Adoration times.  I also know of this website that gives times/places of where you can find Perpetual Adoration (in Texas, but main site links to other states)!
6. Post a Catholic status or tweet something Catholic frequently.  Hey, if Pope Benedict XVI can tweet, so can you!  The Internet is just as important of a place to create a Catholic culture because it lets you connect easily to real people.  You never know when what you post is just what someone needs.  Just be charitable and be prepared to make a defense for the joy that's within you.  :-D
7. Pray a Rosary once a week.  The Rosary is a great way to reflect on the life of Christ by praying with His Blessed Mother.  St. Louis Du Montfort wrote a book entitled, The Secret of the Rosary, and it offers a beautiful perspective on the Rosary.  I love how he explains how the Rosary was used against demons.  Worth a read!  You can either buy it or read it online.
8. Go to Confession at least once a month.  A sincere confession is definitely a good thing.  It's a great way to reflect on ways you've fallen short and have the resolve to do better for next time.  A certain kind of humility transpires as a fruit of confessing one's sins, which makes it more conducive for the soul to be receptive of God's graces.  A lot of healing too, in confession.  Recently, a blog post came out regarding a priest's perspective on the sacrament of reconciliation--worth the read to gain better appreciation of it!  And fun fact:  supposedly Mother Teresa and Blessed Pope John Paul II went to confession. every. day.  Or at the very least, very very very frequently.  Lol, sometimes I need to go once a week... #havemercyonmeasinner
9. Read the Catechism every day. Rejoice!  We are in the Year of Faith!  Pope Benedict XVI has named this year from Oct '12 to Nov '13 as the Year of Faith in his apostolic letter, Porto Fidei (The Door of Faith).  Purposely and coincidentally, the Catechism of the Catholic Church celebrates its 20th anniversary during the Year of Faith and Pope Benedict XVI has asked us Catholics to spend the time and study the Catechism (and to study the docs of Vatican II, which has its 50th anniversary this year as well).  I recommend reading the Catechism every day because a fellow Fightin' Texas Aggie Catholic has made it really easy to receive morsels of the Catechism in your email each day.  It's not too late!  We're only in the mid-500s (paragraph numbers, not years)!  You can sign up here: Read The Catechism In A Year.  I'm actually learning a lot and the Catechism is such an invaluable resource on outlining what we Catholics believe.
10. Attend a prayerful retreat.  Our life is often a battle of the visible and invisible things.  And sometimes we need to retreat and regroup.  Praise God that there are opportunities for everyone!  I know for college kids there is Awakening, for adults there is A.C.T.S. and Cursillo.  For middle and high school there's Youth 2000.  Married couples can attend marriage-specific retreats too! I mean, the list goes on and on and on and on.  Check out your parish bulletin or diocesan website to see what's going on!
11. Get involved with a new ministry.  One quick glance through the any parish bulletin and it's probably easy to see that a number of different ministries could use help.  Involvement in ministries is great because you can connect with (often many) members of the parish.  Some examples are the Knights of Columbus, Catholic Daughters, various prayer groups, ministry to the homeless, ministry to the sick, parish mission councils, etc.  And then there is getting involved with Mass as Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, Lector, Usher, choir, altar server, etc.  The nice thing with getting involved with Mass is that the work is highly transferable, no matter where you go ;-)
12. Read a book about a saint or a saint's works.  What's nice about being part of something that has lasted for 2000 years is that a lot of work and thought has already been done.  We just need to dig back into history and see what's there.  And as a Christian, we need solid examples of what it means to be Christian and what better place to look than the saints?  Here, then, are the heroic and exceptional examples of men, women, and children who lived a Christ-centered life.  I've featured a few saints on this blog, but there are so many more!  Find a saint you are intrigued by and read up on them!  Bonus points if they've written a lot of works and if you read them!
13. Pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy at least once a week. We can begin to show mercy to others when we ask for Jesus' Divine Mercy.  He reveals His call for us to show mercy to others through St. Faustina.  And one of the devotions to Divine Mercy is praying the Chaplet.  You pray the Chaplet on Rosary beads, but it is shorter than a Rosary!  I like this prayer because it really helps me focus on Jesus' Passion. 

And yes, there are so many ways to further develop one's interior life, learn more about the faith, and putting faith into action.  But at least here's a small list to start.  :-D

And then hopefully by year's end, you can be all like...

Insert your success here

Happy New Year! Keep it Catholic!

- JD

Away In A ... What?

You know what...sometimes I'm too accepting of of whatever I hear and never really stop to think more about stuff.  Praise God I'm an engineer because it helps me try to make common sense of things by seeking a better understanding of...things.

So that leads me to the Christmas carol, "Away In A Manger."

All together now:

Away in a manger,

No crib for His bed

The little Lord Jesus

Laid down His sweet head

The stars in the bright sky

Looked down where He lay

The little Lord Jesus

Asleep on the hay

The cattle are lowing

The poor Baby wakes

But little Lord Jesus

No crying He makes

I love Thee, Lord Jesus

Look down from the sky

And stay by my side,

'Til morning is nigh.

Be near me, Lord Jesus,

I ask Thee to stay

Close by me forever

And love me I pray

Bless all the dear children

In Thy tender care

And take us to heaven

To live in Thee there

I don't think you can buy this in stores...

So, I don't know about you...but...I never really questioned the song.  I'm all like, "yeah, I get that."  But after thinking about the song more, it fails to explain or detail the most fundamental aspect to this song: what in heaven is a manger?

Perhaps I'm not cultured in late 18th century Europe from which the lyrics to this carol originated, but in living this modern life, perhaps knowing what a manger is has become lost to me as common knowledge.

Context clues from the rest of the song tells me that a manger involves animals and somewhere to put a baby.  Mmk, so stable?  A manger is a stable?  Errmmm.  Sure.  I'll take that!  Makes sense!  Let's move on!

But see, that's not exactly what a manger is.  I was finally enlightened after like...20 years of understanding a manger to be some sort of stable that somehow held baby Jesus.  In actuality, a manger is simply a type of food trough for animals.

A food trough for animals.

How can this be, that the God of the Universe, our Creator, our Father in Heaven, begot His only Son, the King of kings, incarnate of the Virgin Mary...and because Mary and Joseph could not find a place to stay...Mary had to give birth in a stable.  With nowhere else to place the baby, Jesus, he was placed in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes (Luke 2: 1-7).

Perhaps it's my modern mind that thinks that someone of great importance deserves the best, and yet here is Jesus, Son of God, placed in a food trough for animals.  How incredibly humbling, if you think about it.  And it's practical too.  I mean, it's not like He could fall out.

Being the Son of God, Jesus probably had this radiant glow about Himself in the manger.  A glow that speaks adorableness, beauty, cuteness, and all the synonyms.  You know how sometimes babies are just sooooooooooo cute, you just want to eat them up?  Or at least stick their foot or hand in your mouth?  I'm not a father, but I've been around enough babies and their parents to see this happen.  Actually, one of my fav bloggers blogged about it once, Bad Catholic: On Wanting To Eat Your Baby.  Marc Barnes eloquently ties Beauty to the desire of wanting to eat your baby--I cannot match his expression on this matter.  Worth reading.

But back to the manger.  I can't help but think that by Mary placing Jesus in a manger (like she had a choice...) kind of says, "hey, eat Me!"  And again, Jesus must've been divinely adorable as a newborn--Mary and Joseph probably eyed his arms hungrily (in the sense mentioned in the above paragraph, I should stress).

Mmm

And fun fact, Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea.  In old Hebrew, "Bethlehem" means "house of bread."  Somehow, I'm seeing a theme of food here.

Reflecting on all this, perhaps Jesus wasn't parable-ing or being symbolic in John 6: 22-59 in His Bread of Life discourse.

Anyway, cool stuff.  A manger is a food trough.  How wrong I was to think it meant the stable, but now knowing that Jesus was away in a [food trough] with no crib for a bed, He had a place to lay down His sweet head (yes, it was probably pretty sweet... ;-) ).  Which lends towards a more beautiful understanding of what took place that first Christmas day.

Now pardon me--I'm hungry. #multimeanings
- JD

I Still Believe In Santa Claus

Ah, Jolly Old St. Nicholas!  Lend your ear this way!  ...I still believe in you!

Well, that's awkward because for someone in his mid-20's to still believe in Santa Claus is an absurd idea, especially after learning the truth of Santa Claus' reality when I was younger.  But see, being in my mid-20's, I've had opportunities to grow in knowledge, in faith, and in waist sizes (but that's not relevant).  With that said, perhaps Santa Claus is more reality than myth or legend.  Maybe years of commercialization has turned St. Nicholas into some jolly good old fellow whose generosity and reindeer has made him the hot topic of post-Thanksgiving conversations with parents and mall outings.

But see...we associate Santa Claus simply as that guy who shows up to your chimney one night a year and gives you what you deserve.  We never really focus on his history and where he comes from (I'm not talking about the North Pole).  Are we okay with letting some big red dude that we don't really know into our homes one night a year?!

Ummm. Debatable.

So as long as we're accepting of Santa Claus and assuming mommy doesn't kiss him too much or his reindeer doesn't run over grandma...perhaps we should take a little bit of time to know who Santa Claus is.  Now, it's fair to say that the Santa Claus we all know and love today is probably based on several characters in history.  But most (?) seem to point towards the original St. Nicholas.

Santa Claus --> St. Nicholas

Just who was the original St. Nicholas?  Was he fat? Jolly? Resident of the North Pole? Was there a Mrs. St. Nicholas? Did he have reindeer and/or elves? Did he have his own sled? Did he always say "ho" three times in a row?

Umm. Maybe not.

St. Nicholas was...actually...a Catholic bishop of Myra, an area now known as part of Turkey, back in the third century.

Jesus and Mary approve

Not much is certain historically about him because he lived a long time ago, but he seems to have consistent legends about him.  As popular as Jolly Old St. Nicholas is today, St. Nicholas of Myra was pretty popular to early Christians and the Church back in the day too, though for non-commercial reasons, haha.

Some popular legends (or historical facts taken with a grain of salt) include...
How St. Nicholas gave up his inheritance to ensure three sisters received their dowries
How St. Nicholas saved three kids from an evil butcher
How St. Nicholas saved the people of Myra from famine
...and many more here: Traditional Stories & Miracles

For a more complete biography,you can go here.  But again...we don't know much about him historically apart from popular legends and miracles attributed to him through the ages.  But he certainly was a Catholic bishop back in the day.

What sparked my blogging about St. Nicholas was reading about another one of his famous legends.  I can illustrate it as such:

K.O.

Throughout Church history, the bishops hold councils to discuss matters of the faith.  One such council, the Council of Nicea, was held to discuss the issue of a rising heresy at the time known as Arianism, which basically denied the divinity of Jesus Christ.  There's a popular legend (again, not historically certain) of St. Nicholas freakin' punchin' the daylights out of Arius, the originator of Arianism at the Council of Nicea.  I mean, talk about defending the faith and knocking some sense into people!

Ok. Pause.  Think about this.  Santa Claus making a total baddonkey move and putting Christ back in Christmas with a fist punch.  Makes you want to rethink about the dude in the big red suit at the mall, eh?  You don't see Mr. I-Look-Like-Santa-Claus-But-I'm-Only-His-Helper defending the identity of Christ and punching heretics (oh that would be awkward to have to explain to children waiting in line..."Mommy, why did Santa punch that heathen?").

Anyway, I first read about that punch here: Bad Catholic Blog - On the St. Nick Punch.  And I was immediately wow'd and desired to blog about it too, but it was nearly Valentine's Day earlier this year when I first read Marc's blog post, and I felt like that would have been too late (early?).

Regardless...yes...St. Nick's one punch was sole enough of a reason for me to believe in Santa Claus once again.  But not so much that "Santa Claus" did that...but because...St. Nicholas, taking the average of his historical legends and life, is someone of heroic and holy character, which, in my opinion, is what constitutes a great saint.  We admire his generosity and compassion for the less fortunate which seems to be things that are hard to grasp today.  And yes, though the Santa Claus we know today is a caricature or commercialized representation of the real St. Nicholas, I'm Catholic--and as Catholics we appreciate how visible signs point towards greater realities.  Then yes, Santa Claus is a visible sign that points toward the reality of a man who once walked this earth (and you can find his relics primarily in Bari, Italy and scattered throughout the world) and whose life of legendary generosity is an important and relevant model for us all.

Fun fact!  St. Nicholas' feast day is December 6 or otherwise known as St. Nicholas Day in other parts of the world.  A tradition associated with St. Nicholas Day is for you to leave your shoes out on that day and hopefully you'll find it filled with goodies and/or monies (similar to the usage of stockings for Christmas).

So, I suppose all this talk about the real Santa Claus makes it awkward to talk to kids about it.  And I read a good blog post on how it can be handled.  You can read that here at the Aggie Catholics blog.

I'm lovin' the fact that I'm Catholic because I often find that some of the things we enjoy in society today has some sort of Catholic origin to it.  And man, saints' lives can be so cool to dig deeper into as we see with St. Nicholas.

St. Nicholas, pray for us!  May you remind us of what it means to be jolly and generous!
- JD

One more time...

Lawyered

40 Days for Life 2012: Week 5

I'm two weeks late in posting this...but...that's okay.  Better late than never, right?

Two weekend's ago was the closing rally for this fall's 40 Days for Life campaign.  I wasn't able to attend the actual rally due to other Sunday obligations and responsibilities or maybe I was out of town, but I'm sure it was great.

But see, the funny thing is...I didn't know 40 Days for Life ended two Sunday's ago.  And I still went during my scheduled hour to pray at Planned Parenthood during the week.  I'm such a bragger and overachiever, I know, lol.

I totally went!  I totally drove there! I totally parked! I totally...waited in my car and saw no one standing on the sidewalk.  I noticed that the parking lot still had clinic workers' cars parked (I guess they hadn't gone home yet).  It was then I decided to go look up the schedule for 40 Days for Life and ... I totally missed the memo on it ending the Sunday previous.  D'oh!

I thought about sticking around and perhaps still praying on the sidewalk for an hour.  But...after seeing the parking lot still full and seeing random people walking around on other sidewalks nearby...and knowing that I would have no backup, I decided not to stay and pray because I felt the situation would be too dangerous for me.  I felt like a cop out, and I maintained that feeling of cop-outedness as I drove home...

BUT!  For whatever reason, I thought it would be cool to check out the new Planned Parenthood facility and decided this right before the highway split (between going home and going towards that new location).

15 or so minutes later, I found the new location of the new facility.  It's still under construction.  And it's definitely bigger than my favorite clinic we have been praying at.  :-/   I didn't stick around for too long because ... well...I didn't feel like being shady today.

And after finding it, I drove back home.

Having one week to reflect on my overachievement and two weeks since I last prayed at the clinic for 40 Days for Life, I ask myself...have we accomplished anything?

I'm happy to report that over 600 babies have been saved from this effort!  While that may seem low to me, I must remember that each save is worth it!  Truly a blessing!

But something keeps sticking out in my mind...

Several weekends ago, I attended a training session to be a sidewalk counselor.  And the thing that sticks out to me from that session is what the instructor said regarding 40 Days for Life.  He almost...criticized it.  He said that it's a good effort but it's dumb in that it's only 40 days (though sometimes twice a year, depending on the campaign/location).  And he stressed to us sidewalk counselor hopefuls to know that abortions happen everyday, year-round.  And I totally understood that.

Yes, 40 Days for Life is over for now, but the purpose and mission continues!

Last week we had the election.  And we all know that the result of that election isn't going to play in our favor.  And that's okay.  I welcome the challenge.  To be honest, no amount of law in the land should prevent us from doing what is right...no amount of law in the land should inhibit us to do what we ought.  Human life and dignity are at stake.

Again, I welcome the challenge.  With the way things are right now, I think it's important ever so much that I stick to what is truly Catholic and not some pale shadow of that identity.  The light of Christ is within me.  Soy en fuego con el Espiritu Santo.  If I am who God created me to be...well...watch out world--I'm a pyro.

-raises glass-  Here's to being pro-life!  And I mean that in the Catholic sense--defending all human life and human dignity from conception to natural death.

Challenge accepted.
- JD

My blog post from last year.

"Alone"

Inside of St. Peter's Catholic Church in Lindsay, TX

Raise your hand if you go to church and there's a bunch of people at the church as well. Mmhmm. Thought so. Oftentimes whenever we go to the the church for whatever reason, there's at least several others also present.

But have you ever been alone inside of a church? Like, you are the only visible soul amidst the pews? No one else?

I have.

Plenty of times.

Praise God I'm Catholic! Why? Because as a Catholic, I believe in the Real Presence! That Jesus is truly present body, blood, soul, and divinity in the likeness of bread and wine in every Catholic church. So I've never been truly alone inside of a church because He's there too!

After I got Confirmed and received my driver's license back in high school, I found it necessary to go visit a church to just pray every now and then.  Dealt with a lot, ya know?  And sometimes, these times that I would go would be awkward enough to where there wouldn't be anyone else around. Just me and Jesus in the tabernacle. Or monstrance.

To me, this is a really blessed way to spend time with Jesus. It's literally just me and Him. Without the distractions of having other people around, the feeling of isolation helps with focus.

Spending time alone with Jesus is something that I even continued throughout college...mostly because I had a lot to deal with and I didn't know where else to handle what I was going through during times. Haha, I got good at sneaking into church late at night during high school and college.

And even today and recent times, I still find myself inside of a Catholic church alone with Jesus...but more for the purposes of deepening my spiritual life and less of reacting to the negativities of my life like in high school and college.

So, for whatever your purposes and motivation...If you can, I encourage you to go spend some time with Jesus. Alone.

Body, blood, soul, and divinity.
- JD

Engineering

My Senior Design Project, the "Phoenix"

I currently work as an engineer for a company that makes commercial airline
seats. Now, even though my diploma says I'm an Aerospace Engineer, in
practice, my job calls for more Mechanical Engineering and Computer-Aided
Design work. Nothing flies. We just make things that go into things that
fly.

In a few weeks, I'll be celebrating having worked at my company for two
years. That's a decent amount of time to get familiar with everything
having to do with making a commercial airline seat. You'd be surprised and
amazed at all the (engineering) work that goes into an airline seat! Psh,
I'm amazed and surprised myself!

Did you know this is an emoji for iOS?!

Whenever you're in engineering/design, you spend a lot of time looking at
parts and learning how those parts are made. There are so many ways to
turn different materials into various shapes possessing the properties
necessary to make a particular design work successfully. As the engineer,
you have to know these processes and materials so that you can design a
part that performs predictably to achieve form, fit, and function while
keeping in mind safety and cost (and weight, because the aerospace industry
is always interested in dieting because more weight = more fuel = more
cost).

When designing a part, usually the engineer designs it with specific
intent. The very shape of the part is not arbitrary usually. The material
a particular part is made of usually imposes certain restrictions of the
size and shape of the part. I mean, this only scratches the surface of all
the considerations that an engineer must...consider...but the main point is
this: parts aren't designed out of the blue--they are purposefully designed
with particular intent!

With that said, since I've been working for a while in the industry, I'm
getting better at being able to discern the purpose and process of
individual parts that go into our airline seats. For example, there are
only so many ways to form plastic...but I can look at plastic parts and
judging from how it looks, I can tell whether it was created by injection
molding or through vacuum forming. Or maybe it was done via
rapid-prototyping (or "printed out" via 3D printing).

It's cool to look at hardware like screws, nuts, bolts, rivets, clips, etc
and be able to decide, based on the purpose of the hardware, the best way
to utilize the hardware to achieve the result that I want.  Sometimes a rivet makes more sense to install rather than nut and bolt.  For example, the skin and wings of older airplanes are just sheets of metal riveted together.  You don't want to use screws or nuts and bolts because they can loosen over time, but rivets act as more permanent clamps.

Anyway!  I could go on, but I would get too nerdy.

As much as I aspire to be an awesome aerospace/mechanical engineer, I'm always out-engineer'd by God.  I look at the birds in the sky, and they remind me how amazing of an aerospace engineer God is.  It took us humans a long time to figure out flight, and even then...the things we fly often has to be piloted.  Birds, on the other hand, are instinctively built to fly--they know how to fly and live flight.  Considering the anatomy of the bird, it is easy to see the bird's nature of being something-that-can-take-flight.

Which leads me to...the human body.  It is truly a marvel of divine engineering.  Every shape, part and process of the human body is purposeful, down to the last boson (hah, relevant vocab!).  You know, since God made us in His image and likeness (Gen 1:26), surely we can discern God's nature by examining the human body.  There is such a thing as a study of God through the human body.  

One guy talked about a "theology of the body" 129 times back in the 1980's:

Yes, Blessed Pope John Paul II spent a lot of time reflecting on what it means to be man and woman created in the image and likeness of God.  Because a creation should reveal something about its Creator.  And just as an engineer designs with intent...so does the Creator.

Nothing about the human body and the nature it reveals is arbitrary.  Humanity is God's finest engineering feat.

- JD

Let's Talk About Feelings

Looking in the past at my journey in the faith, I think back to high school. This was the time when I started learning more about the faith and taking a more active role in my personal growth in the faith, because previously I was just "going through the motions." One of the ways I did this was attend retreats, after having experienced them for the first time early in high school.

Retreats are awesome! Even though I didn't like the idea of going to them at first, I realized that they really allowed me to have the opportunity to get away from the crazy world I'm living in and just be in God's awesomeness. What made retreats so great back in high school was all the praise and worship songs (with hand motions!!!), hanging out with new friends or getting to know old ones better, great food typically, really feeling the presence of God through prayer experiences, learning something new, and much more. The thing about retreats is that they eventually end, but the other thing about retreats is that stereotypical "retreat high" I would feel after having an awesome time!

This is what the "retreat high" could look like.  On Spongebob.

The "retreat high" is that really good feeling you get after having such a great time from a retreat. If you've been on a really good one before, you know what I'm talking about--that really happy feeling like you're floating on air or perhaps a slightly more profound happiness that you have never known before. So, I'm not gonna lie--I went on several retreats while I was in high school. I had a great time at my own Confirmation retreat, and I really wanted to experience that "retreat high" feeling again. Therefore, after I got Confirmed, in my later high school years, I came back to help out at the Confirmation retreats, and made it a point to attend Youth 2000 retreats (I even went twice in one semester at two different dioceses!). I even got to go on a few post-Confirmation group retreats too. Every time, I would come back from a retreat with the "retreat high."

And then, I think I got addicted to the "retreat high." Me and my close buddies in the youth group would even joke about being addicted as we went on other retreats!

But the end result was always the same--the "retreat high" goes away. And that's what drove me to try and attend the next retreat because the high goes away, and I wanted to get that feeling again. I felt close to God every time I'd go on a retreat. Rightly so.

In a previous blog post, I wrote about what my faith should be rooted in.  Looking back at my retreat experiences in high school, I can't help but wonder if I let my faith take root in the "retreat high." That begs the question, for all Christians to think about: do I only pursue Jesus because He makes me feel good?

Over the years in high school and college, I've seen quite a handful of my peers fade away from their faith or pursue a superficial understanding of what it means to be Christian because their feelings led them, rather than letting themselves be led by Christ.

Now that I've graduated from high school and college, with a few years of deepening my faith in different ways after college, I've matured enough to realize that my feelings don't matter when it comes to the realities of the faith.

I'm sure you'd agree with me that feelings and emotions can fade away. If I'm feeling hungry, I'll eat, then the feeling of hunger goes away. If I'm feeling bored, I'll go do something to entertain myself so that I'm not bored anymore. If I'm in feeling in love with a girl then I later find out that it just isn't going to work out, the feeling of being in love goes away. I sometimes get sad about something, but the feeling of sadness goes away eventually. On the other hand, there are times I feel really happy, but I'm not happy all the time. Basically, our feelings and emotions are temporary. We can temporarily satisfy those feelings and emotions, but they will eventually come back only for us to try and satisfy once again.

Think about how feelings and emotions are fleeting and temporary. Should our faith be the same? If I'm feeling particularly holy, I'll be diligent in my prayers, but whenever the weight of sin has burdened me greatly, I tend to be lax in my prayer life, which just compounds my restlessness. Sometimes when I go to church on Sunday, I hear a really great homily or sermon that was super relevant to my life and sparked some motivation in me to change something whether it be the world or myself. But some Sundays, I don't get much out of the preaching. Sometimes nothing at all. Then I don't leave church feeling awesome. Also, sometimes I FEEL really close to Jesus because I'm just singing His praises in an awesome way (no AutoTune!) at church or retreats. But sometimes we sing songs that I don't know or songs that aren't my favorite. Sometimes we don't even sing songs. Then, I don't feel close to Jesus because I didn't know the words or didn't sing songs. Then I begin to wonder how close of a relationship I have with Jesus because I don't feel like I do. Hmm. Do I have to FEEL close to Jesus to BE close to Jesus? But feelings and emotions fade away. Does my faith fade because I don't FEEL close to Jesus? I don't feel His love when I'm not feeling awesome with my faith. Perhaps my faith shouldn't be rooted in how I feel in my worship and adoration of Jesus Christ, my savior? Because, He's always there and He always loves me, no matter how I feel, even if I feel abandoned by God.  There are notable saints (I'm thinking Blessed Mother Teresa and St. Faustina) who have experienced "the dark night of the soul," whereby they really strive to live a holy life yet God makes no consolation in making the saint feel His presence.  In other words, they didn't feel His love or presence.

And that is perhaps the brilliance of Christianity. That God loves me, and there's nothing I can do about it. Just because I don't feel like He loves me, He still loves me. Without possessing any degrees in theology and lacking the Scriptural knowledge of a Biblical scholar, I would wager that the realities of the faith will always be true, no matter how I feel about it. What's nice about being Christian is that there is a lot of objectivity in the faith (if you dig around enough!), but we live in a tumultuous time as Christians in America where personal opinions and feelings have governed Christian understanding, and this has led us down a very cloudy path to the Truth. Countless times have I seen or heard Christians accept partial Truth and follow, instead, their opinions and feelings. And I've seen people fade away from the faith because their feelings regarding their faith faded away. But none of that takes away from the Truth that God has revealed to us.

So then, if my faith shouldn't be rooted in feelings and emotions because they are temporary and that the truths about being Christian will always be true no matter how I feel...what is my response?

Perhaps I should pray more in contemplative places.  I remember back in college, whenever I'd be going through a rough time and it was late, late at night...I would sit on the steps of the admin building because it was a lonely, quiet place.  The church was closed by this time of day, so I didn't have the setting of church to be immersed in.  It was times like these that I would feel abandoned and didn't really feel God, but I was compelled to pray because I didn't know what else to do.  All I knew is that I felt like crap, and I was nowhere near the church...but I had to pray.  I had to find peace.  There was just no other way to get over whatever I had been dealing with.   Even nowadays, if I need to, and if my church is closed, I'll go to my parish's grotto at night because it is quiet and lonely.  But, by praying in contemplative places...it removes me from that church setting where I associate my faith and really get to core of why I'm faithful.  And even if I'm far removed from feeling close to God, the willful act of prayer maintains a connection, even if it doesn't feel evident to me.

I could also make use of Confession and Adoration.  Such great sacraments of the Church.  I'm no saint, and thus I mess up often.  Therefore, I do go to Confession frequently.  However, I don't necessarily feel like my sins have been wiped away...as if the burden of my sins remain, even after confessing them.  But that's the beauty of being Catholic...that the efficacy of the sacrament does not depend on whether I feel it or not.  My sins are forgiven through the priest, serving in the person of Christ and given the authority by Christ, through absolution and my contrition, whether I feel like my sins are forgiven or not.


And then there's Adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament.  I think there are many hurdles to overcome in order to be convinced that unleavened bread becomes the Body of Jesus Christ, truly present.  To be honest, this is probably the ultimate test of feelings and faith.  No matter how I feel, the Eucharist really is Jesus Christ (see John 6).  Over the years, I've gone to Adoration many, many times.  I've gone when I felt tired, really sad, really distracted, really happy, really burdened by sin, etc.  And there were times where I felt really close to Jesus ...not just physically, but mentally...emotionally....spiritually...and there have been times where I felt nothing at all.  But!!! No. Matter. How. I. Feel.  ...  That. Is. Still. Jesus. In. The. Eucharist.  Even if I don't accept it or even if I embrace it... it is still Jesus.  And that's a good reflection to spend with Him ... in the Eucharist, where He is truly present, even when feeble human senses fail.

Now, don't get me wrong.  Emotions are a good thing.  They are a part of what makes us human.  I think they help orient us towards a greater truth, but they should not be what drives us in the faith.  Imagine your life governed by your emotions and feelings--you would never achieve satisfaction and fulfillment because your emotions ebb and flow.  And our faith shouldn't be rooted in  something that can easily change.

And now think about Jesus in His last day from Him praying in the garden to His crucifixion.  Now place yourself in His sandals.  You're going to feel a lot of different things, many of which are terrible, but through the act of your will and your love...you will still go through it all.  Your feelings don't matter.  They won't help with the inevitable--the truth.

And I'll leave it at that.  I feel like stopping here.  ;-)

Feelings.
- JD

PS Feel free to share this with others!