40 Days for Life 2011: Week 4

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 3

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 2

This post transferred from my old blog.  Bold words are new/modified.

October 13, 2011 at 8:23PM

So I missed my scheduled hour last Tuesday on the account of a minor toe surgery. I didn't want to risk driving here since I couldn't wear a shoe...

But that's not what I'm blogging about.

They do abortions here on Thursdays as well as Fridays and Saturdays. I just wonder how many babies didn't make it. Maybe it's best to not think about it. Pray. Continuous praying for them and especially their parents. That's all I can do.

Earlier today I was texting back and forth with my cousin in California. We were kind of sulking in our lack of social activity since we're so busy compounded with how we both currently don't have love lives.

So stemming off that text conversation, I started thinking about those who are currently in relationships. I see couples everywhere either married, engaged, or dating. I often wonder the depth of their love for each other. Is it merely superficial or is there something on a deeper level here?

To the very few that have asked me about relationship advice, I make sure to tell them that sex shouldn't be the ultimate end as to why you're in a romantic relationship.  It should not be the focal point or the goal unless you're meant to be with that person until death. It's not being prude--it's being practical.

We live in a sex-saturated society where it tries to convince us that sex without consequences is THE way to "love" each other. Where lust is acceptable. Where objectifying the other sex is acceptable. Where babies are burdens and thus it is such a grave thing that a baby be conceived!

:-(

And this is why I'll eternally stress that true authentic love is free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

True love is free because if it is forced, it is not love at all. The lack of choice in the matter isn't really loving. By juxtaposition, think of rape. Authentic love is free because it gives the other the option to choose it or not. Like a father willing to let his daughter go on her wedding day.

True love is total because to hold yourself back is shortchanging your beloved. "Hey honey, I love you but not completely." I know that most of us would never openly say that to our beloved but do we hold such an idea in our hearts? Do we express our lack of total self-giving with our bodies? Think of the husband saying this to his wife, "My dear wife, I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul but I'm not willing to give up myself completely for you." Shortchanged wife. Now switch the word "husband" with "wife." Shortchanged husband. Authentic love is total because your beloved deserves nothing less of you.

True love is faithful. Lol, just listen to celebrity news and you can see how unfaithful love isn't really love at all. Isn't it every woman's dream to be that special someone to a man? Imagine how heartbroken she must feel if he goes and pulls a jerk move and cheats on her. She doesn't deserve that. I'll flip it the other way too. How less of a man would he feel knowing that the one he protects and provides for and loves...goes off with some other guy. Authentic love is faithful because there is no fear in your beloved leaving you in the dust.

True love is fruitful. You know, love is meant to be shared. It's not something for one to take and keep for oneself. Of course, love is an intangible thing but there are signs that make it visible. The fruitfulness of marriage are children. They are the visible signs of a husband and wife's self-giving love for each other. For us singletons, the fruitfulness of our love for others are meaningful friendships. If love isn't fruitful, how then is it shared?

Anyway, relating it all together... Sex is a visible sign of love that points towards something much greater. So, if sex is an expression of love... Sex, too, must be free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

So if a man and woman have intimate relations fulfilling love authentically... Is abortion really an option?

- JD

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 1

This post transferred from my old blog.  Bold words are new/modified.

October 4, 2011 8:22PM

Tonight is my first night of 40 Days for Life for this year. I was going to write this out on paper but my pen wouldn't write... :-/. I decided to do some on-site reflective journaling because I ... feel like it would be fruitful.

This time around is different. Last year I went from 7PM-8PM where the sun was still setting and you can still see. But now that I'm from 8PM-9PM... It's already dark. This is also different in that it is evening since I usually go on a Saturday morning. The parking lot is near empty and no one is driving up like a Saturday morning.

I prayed a Divine Mercy Chaplet and during this time the employees, with their conspicuous tattoos (even in the dark), drove away in their really nice cars. I didn't look at them purposely. I closed my eyes with my head down as they drove past me. Now, the only person on the premises is the custodial worker.

Praise God that I'm not alone here. I'm in a somewhat shady part of town. A few Hispanic women are near me with their devotionals, and a mother and son showed up a few mins ago, and they're now on the corner holding signs.

One thing I want to reflect on is what to name my spiritually adopted baby. Last year, I was inspired by the idea of spiritually adopting a baby. I named her "Melody" because I wanted to make it personal. If I had my own baby girl, I would probably name her "Melody." Let me pray about this.
(insert pause for a few minutes)
...and hmm... Somehow the name "RJ" sticks out to me though I don't know what those initials stand for. "RJ" would be my first name's initials, inverted. Sounds good to me. It's a boy!

What RJ and Melody share in common is that they face the threat of their parents aborting them. I don't know their actual status or well-being nor do I know anything else about their parents. This is the burden of spiritually adopting a baby. But the fruit of it is that you can't help but to pray for them and their parents because that is all you can do.

So that's settled. I thought I'd spend a little more time on deciding on a name, but it only took a few minutes.

On my drive here, I heard on 910 AM that 64% of women who have an abortion are forced to have it. The ad continued by citing examples around the nation of cases where women were threatened with violence if they didn't have an abortion. How sad is that? That even if she desires life for her child, she cannot because someone is threatening her life unless she goes through an abortion. The ad ended with that, in this way, abortion is an unchoice. www.unchoice.info is the website, I think.

Hmm, I was just thinking... The nice thing about going this late in the evening is that you don't have to ponder the reasons why a woman enters this facility like you would on a Saturday morning. No one is inside right now except Mr. I Have To Clean This Place.

What's frustrating about this facility is that it offers other sexual and health services besides abortion. But sometime in the past year, I realized that if a man is truly a man and a woman is truly a woman and their conjugal union is truly a gift of self to the other in marriage (we're talking eternally, here), then the whole sexual health purpose of this facility means nothing. Pointless.

I pray here not to shut down this facility though its existence doesn't promote an authentic loving environment, but rather I pray here for a change of heart.

It is the attitudes about sex and love that we must seek to change in order to end abortion. I don't feel like eradicating the means is enough.

To get rid of a weed, you must consider its root.

- JD