In Sickness And In Health

Last year, my housemates and I started a tradition of Bro Night Tuesday's. Basically, it was a designated night for us to hang out as a household because our schedules were all over the place.

One particular Tuesday, it was only me and one of my other housemates who were available to hang out. He pitched the idea of going to visit his grandfather in rehab and then going downtown nearby for dinner. I was totally down for the idea! I know my housemate previously told me how earlier in the year his grandfather had some bad health issues that resulted in him going into rehab. At that time, he recently had another health scare so my housemate really wanted to visit him.

I have decent experience in visiting nursing homes for the sick and elderly. But that's with the specific mission of ministering the Holy Eucharist and praying with my residents. This visit with my housemate was simply just that--a visit.

We go, we arrive, and we go to his grandfather's room. His grandmother was also there.

I got to meet my housemate's grandparents, and that was truly wonderful. I got to talk to his grandfather for a bit, and much of the time I stood in the background listening to my housemate and grandmother talk to him. Here before me lay a frail, elderly man but despite that, I truly experienced his full personality, mind, and wisdom. His mind was still sharp though his body slow.

What really resonated with me, and still does, is seeing my housemate's grandmother interact with her husband. I could tell that she was tired, and I know she visited him every day. Even then, with such tender love and care she made sure her husband was comfortable and got what he needed whether it was sips of water or readjustment of leg positions among other things.

I don't know that my words can adequately illustrate what clicked in my mind. But here in that rehab room that day, I experienced what authentic, married love looks like.

Those marriage vows found in Catholic wedding ceremonies came to mind. Something to the effect of:

...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

In sickness and in health.

That offering of self for the good of the beloved, in particular when the beloved is in a time of sickness and suffering.

We live in such a throwaway culture in regards to love. It's difficult to find beautiful examples of what authentic, self-sacrificial love looks like. For me to have this bro night and witness this brief, beautiful example of my housemate's grandparents gave me a lot of hope and desire to love my future wife in such a self-sacrificial way.

In sickness and in health.
- JD

My housemate's grandfather passed away weeks later after our bro night visit. He converted to Catholicism just a few days before passing away.

May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Holding hands // The Guardian

The 5th F of Love

Last weekend, I was cleaning up our house while my housemate Chris, the Middle School Youth Minister, and his bride-to-be, Teresa, were in the kitchen preparing a Sicilian (ie. not Italian) feast for a housewarming party at our humble abode. I think at one point my other housemate Joe, the Police Officer, came home from Mass lookin' all GQ front page because that's just how "Sunday best" he is. After the pasta was made, and the garlic knots baked, we all did some sampling in the kitchen. Chris and Teresa started talking about their engaged couples retreat they recently attended while we were munching on those super-incredibly-muy-delicioso garlic knots.

Such stock photo

Chris made a reference to the 4 F's of married love that they covered during their retreat, and he joked about the 5th F of love.

Before talking about the 5th F of Love, I first must mention the first 4 F's of Love. These are so incredibly crucial in a loving marriage.

Love is...

Free, as in love is freely willed and not forced.

Full, as in love is total and holds nothing back.

Faithful, as in love is unfailing and is exclusive to each other.

Fruitful, as in the love shared between the beloveds is so strong that it overflows, which sometimes results in children, and being open to that possibility.

(jokingly) And fifth-ly, love is...

Food, as in the necessary nutrients that allows one to live so as to be able to love

...and get fat so that the beloved can't run away.

Yes, many insights into love and life permeate within the walls of this Catholic household. Indeed, authentic love mandates the 4 F's, but in a way, Food is necessary too. It's just a bonus that the food happens to be really delicious Italian Sicilian cooking. Chris is one sure lucky guy.

After much laughter and reflection in the kitchen, we continued sampling garlic knots. And we rejoiced all the more later during the actual party with baked pasta, more garlic knots, wine, salad, and cheesecake with choice of caramel, chocolate and/or strawberry topping. Many more laughs. There may have been a game of "salad bowl" (a mix of Taboo/Catch Phrase and Charades) where the invited seminarian tried to trump everyone with Latin phrases, and many lessons were learned that night on the detection of sarcasm.

Consummatum est.
- JD

Garlic knots // Simply Recipes
Pope Francis laughing // Arkansas Catholic

Dear Facebook friends, I'm so frustrated with all of your baby pictures

I'm actually not that great of a Facebook stalker. I don't really go into profiles, but I do go into certain groups because maybe I'm an admin for a few of them. Therefore, the extent of my "Facebook stalking" is whatever shows up on my News Feed. I suppose I stalk my News Feed.

Inevitably, being the age that I am, it is the. prime. time.  to get married and start having kids. Because an abundance of love overflows and love is never kept to self, it only makes logical sense that husbands and wives share their love and joy with others. On Facebook. Cool wedding pictures!

Then comes the baby in the baby carriage. The love of husband and wife is so strong, so real, that it results in a third person. That is so profoundly biological and Catholic-ly theological/philosophical. Undoubtedly, a barrage of totally adorable pictures follows on Insta-Face-gram-book. First steps. First bath. Here's our baby with our other babies (ie. dogs). Oh look at this picture with our baby wearing the cutest clothes evurrrrr. Teehee, our baby made a funny face (MEME DAT!). Aw, look at our baby dressed in collegiate wear!

Ugh.

With that said...

Dear Facebook friends,

I'm so frustrated with your postings of your adorable baby (or babies, if you have been generous in your love for your spouse) on Facebook and Instagram.

Look, I get it. You want to share with your friends and family this joy that you and your spouse have. I get it. You want to preserve these precious memories of your child so that you can easily go back on your Facebook Timeline years later and have that nostalgic moment remembering that precious memory. I get it. Now you have blackmail-worthy pictures of your child to show their friends when they're in high school or college or wedding day. Whatever your reason, I get it.

First thing. Did a bunch of you get together about 9 months ago (+/- few months) and collectively decide to have babies right around the same time? Because my Facebook News Feed is totally inundated with a wave of babies' pictures right now. Post, after post, after post. Babies. Babies. Babies. And let's not forget the sonogram pictures too. And because y'all may or may not have gotten together about 9 months ago and collectively decide to birth at the same time, there are a good number of you posting baby pictures. At least I'm not forced to keep looking at the same cute, adorable baby at any point during my typical News Feed stalking. Hey, variety helps.

Second thing. Not only are you posting baby pictures, but you're posting baby announcement pictures, baby-in-the-womb-growing progress pictures, and other fancy creative ways to posting pictures about your baby. What deep bowels of Pinterest have you been perusing? Not that there's anything wrong with that. And these kinds of pictures are usually not one-and-done. No, no! They're like a weekly (dare I even say in some cases, daily?!) update. More status-ing about it all. More pictures. More frustration for me.

Third thing. What's the deal with you who are married yet don't have kids? It's frustrating because I practically expect some sort of generous, overflowing profound love that results in a baby that merits posting about it Facebook/Instagram. And yet I'm left with nothing. The anticipation is killer and that's frustrating. Look, you and your spouse might have legit reasons to not have kids right now...but come on, it's been a few years.  Please, I beg you--add to my frustration!

7 Quick Takes (Vol. 6)

--- 1 ---

A friend of mine got married this past weekend.  Yes, it was totally a Catholic wedding.  Yes, it was more than 10 minutes long (umm...it's a Mass...). But! This was not your average Catholic wedding.  No, no, no.  Average Catholic weddings have one priest celebrating the Mass and marriage rite. But this wedding had six (6) priests con-celebrating the Mass! Picture, because it totally did happen!

Okay, 6 priests...2 deacons...1 seminarian serving as an alcolyte...2 altar servers...who's counting?

Now, I've been to a ridiculous Mass with hundreds of priests before...but...for a Catholic wedding...at least, those that I've attended, don't typically have more than one!  But of course this begs the question of why six priests?

Well, my friend is a highly-involved Catholic.  Maybe he's kind of important in the Knights of Columbus across the state of Texas on the collegiate level. Maybe he works for my diocese. Maybe he's grown to know the pastors of his college parishes. Maybe his (now) wife has a priest for an uncle... Supposedly Bishop Vann was invited to this wedding but he's kind of busy right now.

Anyway, it was a beautiful wedding!  For the sake of brevity...here are some other fun facts:

• The bride's oldest sister is actually a friend of mine from college, and she's discerning entering the religious community, the Apostles of the Interior Life in Italy (who have some religious sisters in-residence at St. Mary's in College Station, TX)
• I left home later than intended and arrived 10 minutes before Mass started (whew!), and I was totally concerned with arriving just as the bride walked down the aisle
• Because I arrived not-early, I had to sit off to the side...which apparently was Non-Catholic Nation because Communion got awkward...no one stood from their pew to get in line >_>
• Totally met a coworker that I've seen around at work but officially met him at the wedding! ...because he was an usher.
• Reception was great! Good cocktails and finger foods! Great dinner! Awesome dancing!...but I had to leave early to take care of stuff at home

And, this was the first of several Catholic weddings I'll be attending this year. :-)

--- 2 ---

This past Wednesday was my parents' 31st wedding anniversary!

We celebrated by going out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant.

Mmm...31 years...that's pretty good! I'm grateful that my parents have been a pretty awesome example of what it means to be married in terms of necessary sacrifices made for the good of each other and for the good of my bro and myself.

And in today's American society...31 years...that's commendable!

-raises glass-  Here's to many more years of joyful marriage for my parents!

--- 3 ---

I feel like a Carmelite.  This past Sunday, we had a group investiture of the Confraternity of the Brown Scapular.  In English, we had a priest induct us into a group of non-Carmelites who, now being part of the Confraternity, can share in the promises the Carmelites received from Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, where Mary appeared to St. Simon Stock and gave him the brown scapular along with a promise to those who are devoted to the brown scapular.  You can read more about all that here.

I've actually worn a brown scapular since high school...but I didn't really fully understand it until I was properly taught about it in the past year or two.  And actually, I got invested into the Confraternity in that past year or two.  This group investiture was for all the youth in the religious education program that I volunteer for and so I...just...renewed my devotion and refreshed my understanding thanks to the priest's explanation.

--- 4 ---

But wait, there's more! The priest who invested us for the brown scapular also blessed our green scapulars, which we also handed out.

Yes, he even explained the green scapular which has a different devotion for a different purpose.  You can read more about that here.

I had three green scapulars with me and got them all blessed at this time.  I do plan on getting rid of them ;-).

--- 5 ---

In a bit of sad news, Reveille VII passed away on Thursday.  Texas A&M's mascot is a purebred American Collie.  There's a story and tradition about how a dog came to be A&M's mascot.  Reveille VII was the mascot most of my time during college.  I've had photo ops with her...and I'll definitely miss her.

Freshman year

Though she was ill-tempered at times...she thankfully never bit me or barked at me.  I'm curious to know when her funeral is because...I dunno, only Texas A&M would give a dog who outranks every. single. member. of. the. Corps of Cadets a full military burial.  And the graves silently watch the scoreboard at Kyle Field.

RIP Reveille VII.

TAMU Times story on her passing here.

--- 6 ---

In other sad passing away news...one of my parents' good friends from the Philippines passed away the other morning.  Thankfully, my family and their friends had opportunities to go visit him in the past few months before he passed away.

As she was preparing her breakfast, my mom asked me a curious question on my way out of the house to go to work.  She asked, "did you hear the TV in the living room turn on at 3:30AM this morning?"  I was like...uhhhmmmmm...errr....no. Asleep.  Then she proceeded to tell me about Tito Gil passing away and my parents found out via a phone call that he had passed at way at 4:30AM. Eastern time. Which is ...3:30AM Central time.

Apparently the TV in the living room had turned itself on with the volume fully up at about that time.  My parents investigated, turned off the TV, and my mom couldn't fall back asleep.  Then they received a phone call from a friend regarding Tito Gil, and that's when they found out about his passing.

I cannot declare this coincidental out of randomness simply because that TV has not had a history of turning itself on.

This strange occurrence reminded me of the other strange and similar occurrences when my grandparents (dad's side) passed away.  Because the same exact sort of thing happened when grandfather passed away, and it was an old alarm clock radio that somehow turned itself on.  Then there was the repeated random turning on of our Bose sound system radio after my grandmother passed away.

Gosh, I guess my family seems to attract haunted electronics whenever someone close to us passes away.

Am I freaked out? Nah. It's kind of comforting, really.  It almost affirms that there is something after death.  I'm grateful to be Catholic because it puts all that in context.

Pray for the repose of Gil Gutierrez's soul. May the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.

--- 7 ---

CONFIRMATION! We just had our Confirmation Mass at my parish, and it was beautiful! I think we had about ~100+ receive the Sacrament of Confirmation, thus completing baptismal grace by the laying of hands and anointing with oil by our pastor.  As a Confirmation teacher, this was definitely a big day, and I'm so proud of them!  Now I pray that they'll continue to live out their Catholic faith and not treat Confirmation as a sort of graduation!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

- JD

Reveille VII / TAMU Times