Favorite Verses: Day 3

First of all, it amuses me greatly when people use Ephesians 5: 24 to make some sort of radical feminist case. Here for your reading pleasure:

24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.

You can easily see how verse 24 standing on its own seems extremely troubling, especially with our modern sensibilities. And self-proclaimed pro interpreters of the Bible whose own interpretive authority eclipses everyone else's never seem to read on towards my next favorite passage:

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the church; 33 however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Full passage here.

We have such crappy examples in our culture of what love is and how to love. I grow weary of the unsatisfying examples of love that I encounter out there because it's not what I yearn for, and it's not how I want to love others.

Then I look to Christ. I see how He loved the Church, His Bride.

Through everything He taught...through His sorrowful Passion and death...We, as Christians, have the model of authentic, real, genuine love. Self-sacrificial love. A love that is absolutely free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

As I desire to be a husband and father one day, I know that I genuinely desire my future wife's ultimate good, no matter my cost. I want to love her just as Christ loves His Church.

No amount of shades of grey will ever satisfy my pursuit of Love.

So I look to the Cross, the crucifix...to Christ. There, I can ponder the mystery of Love, to know Love, to receive Love...and because of all this...I desire to share that Love.

Lord Jesus Christ, you gave your life for us, your Church, as an act of your infinite love. A love that is truly free, total, faithful, and fruitful. A love that bears great fruit. I pray for the grace to look to You and to love like You. Teach me how to love others, and by Your holy will, my future wife too. 

We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You, because by Your holy Cross, You have redeemed the world.

- JD

Christ on the cross from The Passion // DSD O'Connor's blog

In Sickness And In Health

Last year, my housemates and I started a tradition of Bro Night Tuesday's. Basically, it was a designated night for us to hang out as a household because our schedules were all over the place.

One particular Tuesday, it was only me and one of my other housemates who were available to hang out. He pitched the idea of going to visit his grandfather in rehab and then going downtown nearby for dinner. I was totally down for the idea! I know my housemate previously told me how earlier in the year his grandfather had some bad health issues that resulted in him going into rehab. At that time, he recently had another health scare so my housemate really wanted to visit him.

I have decent experience in visiting nursing homes for the sick and elderly. But that's with the specific mission of ministering the Holy Eucharist and praying with my residents. This visit with my housemate was simply just that--a visit.

We go, we arrive, and we go to his grandfather's room. His grandmother was also there.

I got to meet my housemate's grandparents, and that was truly wonderful. I got to talk to his grandfather for a bit, and much of the time I stood in the background listening to my housemate and grandmother talk to him. Here before me lay a frail, elderly man but despite that, I truly experienced his full personality, mind, and wisdom. His mind was still sharp though his body slow.

What really resonated with me, and still does, is seeing my housemate's grandmother interact with her husband. I could tell that she was tired, and I know she visited him every day. Even then, with such tender love and care she made sure her husband was comfortable and got what he needed whether it was sips of water or readjustment of leg positions among other things.

I don't know that my words can adequately illustrate what clicked in my mind. But here in that rehab room that day, I experienced what authentic, married love looks like.

Those marriage vows found in Catholic wedding ceremonies came to mind. Something to the effect of:

...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

In sickness and in health.

That offering of self for the good of the beloved, in particular when the beloved is in a time of sickness and suffering.

We live in such a throwaway culture in regards to love. It's difficult to find beautiful examples of what authentic, self-sacrificial love looks like. For me to have this bro night and witness this brief, beautiful example of my housemate's grandparents gave me a lot of hope and desire to love my future wife in such a self-sacrificial way.

In sickness and in health.
- JD

My housemate's grandfather passed away weeks later after our bro night visit. He converted to Catholicism just a few days before passing away.

May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Holding hands // The Guardian

Total Consecration 2014: Day 18

Reading:
John 15: 9-17

from Pope St. John Paul II:
Redemptor Hominis, 10

Reflection:
I've heard it said before (somewhere) that the two most fundamental human desires are the desire to love and the desire to be loved. Love is so necessary to being human. Love is what separates us from the animals. We can choose to love. We can choose the greater good of the other, the beloved.

I was helping out my housemate at his youth group not too long ago, and we were discussing hell through what the Catechism teaches about it. However, the conversation got sidetracked to the meaning of love and its necessity. We are made for love. Pope St. John Paul II said

Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it.

How can I choose to love if I don't know what it is?

And that's why it's important for me to draw close to our Lord because He is love. Loving our Lord fulfills those fundamental human desires to love and to be loved. And by loving our Lord, I can gain a better understanding of myself because it is He who created me. I am weak. I am restless. I am uncertain. But even in all my weakness and sinfulness, I should always strive to draw near to Christ. For Christ loves me just His Father loves Him.

Response:
Taking some time to deeply examine my relationships to family, friends, and strangers as well as seeing how I love them all. Through this, also seeing how Jesus has loved me.

Totus tuus,
- JD

Crucifix // Busted Halo

Going To Work On Saturday

I'm going to use this opportunity of going to work on a Saturday to make an analogy for love as I'm on my way to work this morning. Not the warm fuzzy type of love but something that gets to the heart of what authentic, true, genuine, real love is. I've already had a long work week. Yet, here I am again on a Saturday morning about to put in some more hours.

I really don't feel like going to work today because I'm tired, and I can be doing other things.

I'm not getting paid for the hours I'm putting in today so I don't really get anything out of work today aside from productivity.

I wasn't even techically required to go work today. I volunteered.

Perhaps authentic love isn't dependent on what I feel like. 

Perhaps authentic love isn't about what I get out of loving.

Perhaps authentic love isn't such that it is required or forced, but rather a free act  of the will.

I guess I love my job. :-)

-JD

The 5th F of Love

Last weekend, I was cleaning up our house while my housemate Chris, the Middle School Youth Minister, and his bride-to-be, Teresa, were in the kitchen preparing a Sicilian (ie. not Italian) feast for a housewarming party at our humble abode. I think at one point my other housemate Joe, the Police Officer, came home from Mass lookin' all GQ front page because that's just how "Sunday best" he is. After the pasta was made, and the garlic knots baked, we all did some sampling in the kitchen. Chris and Teresa started talking about their engaged couples retreat they recently attended while we were munching on those super-incredibly-muy-delicioso garlic knots.

Such stock photo

Chris made a reference to the 4 F's of married love that they covered during their retreat, and he joked about the 5th F of love.

Before talking about the 5th F of Love, I first must mention the first 4 F's of Love. These are so incredibly crucial in a loving marriage.

Love is...

Free, as in love is freely willed and not forced.

Full, as in love is total and holds nothing back.

Faithful, as in love is unfailing and is exclusive to each other.

Fruitful, as in the love shared between the beloveds is so strong that it overflows, which sometimes results in children, and being open to that possibility.

(jokingly) And fifth-ly, love is...

Food, as in the necessary nutrients that allows one to live so as to be able to love

...and get fat so that the beloved can't run away.

Yes, many insights into love and life permeate within the walls of this Catholic household. Indeed, authentic love mandates the 4 F's, but in a way, Food is necessary too. It's just a bonus that the food happens to be really delicious Italian Sicilian cooking. Chris is one sure lucky guy.

After much laughter and reflection in the kitchen, we continued sampling garlic knots. And we rejoiced all the more later during the actual party with baked pasta, more garlic knots, wine, salad, and cheesecake with choice of caramel, chocolate and/or strawberry topping. Many more laughs. There may have been a game of "salad bowl" (a mix of Taboo/Catch Phrase and Charades) where the invited seminarian tried to trump everyone with Latin phrases, and many lessons were learned that night on the detection of sarcasm.

Consummatum est.
- JD

Garlic knots // Simply Recipes
Pope Francis laughing // Arkansas Catholic

7 Quick Takes (Vol. 6)

--- 1 ---

A friend of mine got married this past weekend.  Yes, it was totally a Catholic wedding.  Yes, it was more than 10 minutes long (umm...it's a Mass...). But! This was not your average Catholic wedding.  No, no, no.  Average Catholic weddings have one priest celebrating the Mass and marriage rite. But this wedding had six (6) priests con-celebrating the Mass! Picture, because it totally did happen!

Okay, 6 priests...2 deacons...1 seminarian serving as an alcolyte...2 altar servers...who's counting?

Now, I've been to a ridiculous Mass with hundreds of priests before...but...for a Catholic wedding...at least, those that I've attended, don't typically have more than one!  But of course this begs the question of why six priests?

Well, my friend is a highly-involved Catholic.  Maybe he's kind of important in the Knights of Columbus across the state of Texas on the collegiate level. Maybe he works for my diocese. Maybe he's grown to know the pastors of his college parishes. Maybe his (now) wife has a priest for an uncle... Supposedly Bishop Vann was invited to this wedding but he's kind of busy right now.

Anyway, it was a beautiful wedding!  For the sake of brevity...here are some other fun facts:

• The bride's oldest sister is actually a friend of mine from college, and she's discerning entering the religious community, the Apostles of the Interior Life in Italy (who have some religious sisters in-residence at St. Mary's in College Station, TX)
• I left home later than intended and arrived 10 minutes before Mass started (whew!), and I was totally concerned with arriving just as the bride walked down the aisle
• Because I arrived not-early, I had to sit off to the side...which apparently was Non-Catholic Nation because Communion got awkward...no one stood from their pew to get in line >_>
• Totally met a coworker that I've seen around at work but officially met him at the wedding! ...because he was an usher.
• Reception was great! Good cocktails and finger foods! Great dinner! Awesome dancing!...but I had to leave early to take care of stuff at home

And, this was the first of several Catholic weddings I'll be attending this year. :-)

--- 2 ---

This past Wednesday was my parents' 31st wedding anniversary!

We celebrated by going out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant.

Mmm...31 years...that's pretty good! I'm grateful that my parents have been a pretty awesome example of what it means to be married in terms of necessary sacrifices made for the good of each other and for the good of my bro and myself.

And in today's American society...31 years...that's commendable!

-raises glass-  Here's to many more years of joyful marriage for my parents!

--- 3 ---

I feel like a Carmelite.  This past Sunday, we had a group investiture of the Confraternity of the Brown Scapular.  In English, we had a priest induct us into a group of non-Carmelites who, now being part of the Confraternity, can share in the promises the Carmelites received from Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, where Mary appeared to St. Simon Stock and gave him the brown scapular along with a promise to those who are devoted to the brown scapular.  You can read more about all that here.

I've actually worn a brown scapular since high school...but I didn't really fully understand it until I was properly taught about it in the past year or two.  And actually, I got invested into the Confraternity in that past year or two.  This group investiture was for all the youth in the religious education program that I volunteer for and so I...just...renewed my devotion and refreshed my understanding thanks to the priest's explanation.

--- 4 ---

But wait, there's more! The priest who invested us for the brown scapular also blessed our green scapulars, which we also handed out.

Yes, he even explained the green scapular which has a different devotion for a different purpose.  You can read more about that here.

I had three green scapulars with me and got them all blessed at this time.  I do plan on getting rid of them ;-).

--- 5 ---

In a bit of sad news, Reveille VII passed away on Thursday.  Texas A&M's mascot is a purebred American Collie.  There's a story and tradition about how a dog came to be A&M's mascot.  Reveille VII was the mascot most of my time during college.  I've had photo ops with her...and I'll definitely miss her.

Freshman year

Though she was ill-tempered at times...she thankfully never bit me or barked at me.  I'm curious to know when her funeral is because...I dunno, only Texas A&M would give a dog who outranks every. single. member. of. the. Corps of Cadets a full military burial.  And the graves silently watch the scoreboard at Kyle Field.

RIP Reveille VII.

TAMU Times story on her passing here.

--- 6 ---

In other sad passing away news...one of my parents' good friends from the Philippines passed away the other morning.  Thankfully, my family and their friends had opportunities to go visit him in the past few months before he passed away.

As she was preparing her breakfast, my mom asked me a curious question on my way out of the house to go to work.  She asked, "did you hear the TV in the living room turn on at 3:30AM this morning?"  I was like...uhhhmmmmm...errr....no. Asleep.  Then she proceeded to tell me about Tito Gil passing away and my parents found out via a phone call that he had passed at way at 4:30AM. Eastern time. Which is ...3:30AM Central time.

Apparently the TV in the living room had turned itself on with the volume fully up at about that time.  My parents investigated, turned off the TV, and my mom couldn't fall back asleep.  Then they received a phone call from a friend regarding Tito Gil, and that's when they found out about his passing.

I cannot declare this coincidental out of randomness simply because that TV has not had a history of turning itself on.

This strange occurrence reminded me of the other strange and similar occurrences when my grandparents (dad's side) passed away.  Because the same exact sort of thing happened when grandfather passed away, and it was an old alarm clock radio that somehow turned itself on.  Then there was the repeated random turning on of our Bose sound system radio after my grandmother passed away.

Gosh, I guess my family seems to attract haunted electronics whenever someone close to us passes away.

Am I freaked out? Nah. It's kind of comforting, really.  It almost affirms that there is something after death.  I'm grateful to be Catholic because it puts all that in context.

Pray for the repose of Gil Gutierrez's soul. May the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.

--- 7 ---

CONFIRMATION! We just had our Confirmation Mass at my parish, and it was beautiful! I think we had about ~100+ receive the Sacrament of Confirmation, thus completing baptismal grace by the laying of hands and anointing with oil by our pastor.  As a Confirmation teacher, this was definitely a big day, and I'm so proud of them!  Now I pray that they'll continue to live out their Catholic faith and not treat Confirmation as a sort of graduation!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

- JD

Reveille VII / TAMU Times

"Ecce homo!"

Depiction of "Ecce homo!" by Antonio Ciseri

This past Sunday, I wrote about how during Palm Sunday Mass, we read through Jesus' final hours from his arrest to his death and burial for our Gospel reading.

Easter is tomorrow! And that marks a joyous occasion for every Christian life because we celebrate an empty tomb because He is not there!  He is risen! Jesus wasn't joking!  Last year I wrote about how I noticed (seeming coincidentally) how nature itself was signifying Lent and preparing for the Resurrection.  But this year...I wanted to focus on something else--perhaps the true reason for the season.

As a Christian, it's always tempting to focus on the "feel good" parts of the faith.  Or on the "feel good" parts of Scripture. And Jesus' Resurrection is definitely one of those "feel good" moments because yes, He conquered death! Yes, He opened up Heaven! Yes, this is the source of our future resurrection in Him! Yes the Resurrection is what saves us! And all that jazz.

But sometimes it's too easy to get caught up in all that, as if it was the only thing that mattered or the only thing that I should focus on as a Christian.  But, in learning more about my faith and gaining a deeper understanding of it, I've come to know and appreciate that the Resurrection means absolutely nothing unless Jesus died.  In other words, there would be no point to the Resurrection unless Jesus first had to die.

And not just any kind of death.

No, no.

Death! On a cross.  But even the death on a cross is just a portion of all that He had to endure.

What Is Love? An Example

I saw this video floating around the little slice of the Catholic blogosphere/Twitterverse that I happen to observe on a frequent basis.

What is love? Is it always about the romance and the feelings and emotions?  Maybe not.  Maybe it's more about desiring the good of the other.

And this short video sticks out to me moreso because wow--what a model of authentic masculinity!  If I allow myself to be too sold into the modern definition of masculinity, I find it really easy to be who I am not.

Lastly, one of the joys of being Catholic and single is that I get to reflect and ask myself some difficult-yet-necessary questions for marriage:  do I desire the ultimate good of my future wife? will I protect and provide for her? even if I don't feel like I love my future wife, do I still love her? am I the man God calls me to be, as He created me to be?

Who am I for my future wife?
- JD

Blind Love

My last semester of college, I saw an inspiring young couple walking about campus.  Judging from their body language, I could tell they depended on each other to take their next step.  Just watching them from afar, I realized that both of them working together to help the other would be way more effective than being on their own without the other.

The kicker is...both of these fellow Aggies...are blind.

I've seen the young blind woman in a previous semester traversing across campus on her own with her "seeing eye pole" (I don't know the technical term)...feeling about where to go next.  But in my last semester...a young blind man, also with a "seeing eye pole" walked alongside her and they held hands.  And they walked around pretty fast!

How beautiful!

...that the two blind people on campus found each other.

Imagine this kind of relationship...where you don't know what your significant other looks like!  You only know them for the person that they are on the inside.

Pretty cool stuff.

I think there's a more profound type of relationship to be had if it's not based on what's on the outside, but too often you see how superficial relationships can be if you don't consider the inside.  I mean, think about it--you actually love the person rather than love what they look like.

What's great about this visible example to me (#pun) is that it really shows how you can love a person rather than just loving a body...that there's more to a person than what you can see about them.  And the other interesting thing to note is how much more effective their navigation of campus is due to them helping each other out.  Perhaps that says something about love...to desire the good of the other and in their case, providing an extra set of 'eyes' for the other so they can safely navigate campus.

I think they see who each other are in a clearer way than someone like me, who has the gift of sight.  And that's definitely a beautiful thing...to see people as persons, as human beings.  Maybe that's an important step in learning how to love--to love the person moreso than loving something about a person.

Now, I didn't stick around due to graduation to see how those two ended up...but either way...

Sometimes...love IS (literally) blind.
- JD

But how?

You know, I have several Internet-connected devices with access to my blog, and I don't do a good job of blogging on a whim because my life is Catholic and I think about being Catholic a lot of the time....and I don't type it out. Or write it. Or whatever.

Anyway, I was just pondering about love. Often times on the Internet and on Facebook you see people making the argument that "God loves everyone!" Which is true. But isn't fully True, even if one or two verses from Scripture is thrown around. And I say that because no one cares to explain how God loves. One needs a fuller illustration of what "God loves everyone!" means. And you can't really squeeze that in one or two verses. You need like, two testaments, in order to do that.

So since God IS love...and we know this...we should explore HOW He loves.

I think what I'm trying to get at is my dissatisfaction with the argument that "God loves everyone!" without being able illustrate or show how He loves everyone.  I almost would challenge the person the next time I see it posted and ask them how does He loves.  Make 'em quote Scripture.  Whole chapters, not single verses.  Make 'em tell me how it applies to their lives.  But I need to be fluent in how God loves, myself. So much to pull from!  And there's a lot to learn. And praise God I'm Catholic with the desire to seek Truth and Love so that I can spread Truth and Love.

Pray on this, I will. You should, too! :-)

How He loves us so.
- JD

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 5

November 4, 2011 8:22PM

As I prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet just now, I could slowly feel the cold slowly taking the feeling away from my toes and fingers. It got cold--really cold!

But, I can't complain. I'm at an abortion clinic. Powerful vacuums can be used to take away the body of a fetus. :-(

I actually missed my assigned hour this week so I'm making it up now. This 40 Days for Life campaign is wrapping up this weekend. But like I said, I don't know what miracles occurred as a result of us being here 24/7 for the past 40 days. (maybe I should check the website...)

It's kind of fitting that I finished Unplanned the other day. Wow, what a great account from both sides of the "fence" between pro-life and pro-choice. I loved reading about Abby's encounters with the men and women involved with the 40 Days for Life, and it rather inspires me to adopt their approach as described by Abby. Granted, every time I'm here at this location during the week, every one in the clinic has already gone home. Can't put myself into a situation of opportunities--but that's ok. I'm here to pray. And reflectively blog about it.

Earlier today I was thinking about sexual accountability. Does a contraceptive and/or abortive mentality foster an attitude that is truly selfless seeking what is truly best for all involved? Yeah sex feels good and it is meant to. Yeah we have sexual desires because they're inherent to us as male and female. But does that mean we can just go around enjoying ourselves and try justifying our pleasures without consequences by promoting contraception and abortion? I don't think so. It's too careless. New life is at stake!

I look at this way: why do people abort their kids? Because the baby, whether considered as such or not, is unwanted. Or maybe contraceptives failed. Why do people use contraceptives? To have sex without pregnancy.  So why are people wanting to have sex without initiating pregnancy?  Multitude of reasons, but most seem questionably selfish to me.  Now why are people having sex? Is it because it feels good? Does it make people "happy"? To show one's "love" for their partner? Legit reasons, but to me it's only worth it with the person you're meant to be with forever. But wait, why is there sex anyway? Because humans are male and female, and the entire continuity of our dominion on earth resides in creating future generations. A man's body doesn't make sense by itself. A woman's body doesn't make sense by itself. Our respective anatomies suggest that they go together. And yes, the world would be quick to agree with that statement. But then we're back to why is there sex?

There is a greater purpose to sex. I think we all get too caught up in the icing of sexuality without really digging deeper into the cake that is its greater purpose.  But that's worth another blog post.

Lust makes the whole sexual act that of a selfish one. And I will eternally say that lust is not of true love--it is authentic love's counterfeit.

But this post is about 40 Days for Life. The consequences of sexual actions bring people here to this clinic (mostly, anyway, and supposedly other health services are offered here as well). And so there is a fence. A fence that separates those who are pro-life and pro-choice.

Praying.  That's all I can actively do here.  That is the purpose of 40 Days for Life.  Unceasing peaceful prayer for 40 days and 40 nights...for the beauty and gift of life.  Not here to judge or intimidate clients. 

Anyway, I still really recommend the book, Unplanned by Abby Johnson, to every one--whether they're pro-life or pro-choice. We have more in common than we'd like to admit.

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 4

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 3

Dear "R.J.",

To be honest, I think about you frequently. I often wonder how far along you are in your development within your mother's womb. But a part of me also wonders what your parents think of you. Are they going to keep you? Will you see the world outside of the womb? I hope so. They're probably scared. But I pray that dealing with their fears doesn't lead them to decide that your short-lived life should end. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." a wise Jedi once said. Gosh, I hope you live long enough to see those movies.

I guess the consequence of me thinking about you frequently is that it causes me to think about my future kids. Really, I desire nothing more than to become the man and father that my future kids deserve. I can only hope and pray that your parents desire the same. Why? Because, "R.J.", you deserve it.

It would be such a disservice to my future kids to train myself such that being a crappy father is acceptable. I want to show my future kids what it really means for me to be a true man, husband, and father, and I'm fully confident that my future wife would strive to do the same as true woman, wife, and mother. I can only hope and pray your parents desire the same.

I feel like this world continually feeds us trash on what it means to man up and woman up to be good parents...or the lack thereof. It's no easy task but the easy ways out aren't what's best for individuals such as yourself, "R.J.," and my future kids.

It's a shame that there are those who think that just because you might not look human-ish right now (I'm assuming) that it's okay to end your life because you're "nothing more than a clump of cells." Psh, well even your biological cells are alive and growing but to end your life now would simply ruin your great potential.

"R.J."--you deserve life beyond the womb. You will do great things whether big or small. Even if your parents and the rest of world think otherwise, I still believe in you.

Continually praying for you and your parents and others in your same situation,
r4nd311

ps Thanks for helping me realize my manly, husbandly, fatherly desires. :-)

40 Days for Life 2011: Week 1

This post transferred from my old blog.  Bold words are new/modified.

October 4, 2011 8:22PM

Tonight is my first night of 40 Days for Life for this year. I was going to write this out on paper but my pen wouldn't write... :-/. I decided to do some on-site reflective journaling because I ... feel like it would be fruitful.

This time around is different. Last year I went from 7PM-8PM where the sun was still setting and you can still see. But now that I'm from 8PM-9PM... It's already dark. This is also different in that it is evening since I usually go on a Saturday morning. The parking lot is near empty and no one is driving up like a Saturday morning.

I prayed a Divine Mercy Chaplet and during this time the employees, with their conspicuous tattoos (even in the dark), drove away in their really nice cars. I didn't look at them purposely. I closed my eyes with my head down as they drove past me. Now, the only person on the premises is the custodial worker.

Praise God that I'm not alone here. I'm in a somewhat shady part of town. A few Hispanic women are near me with their devotionals, and a mother and son showed up a few mins ago, and they're now on the corner holding signs.

One thing I want to reflect on is what to name my spiritually adopted baby. Last year, I was inspired by the idea of spiritually adopting a baby. I named her "Melody" because I wanted to make it personal. If I had my own baby girl, I would probably name her "Melody." Let me pray about this.
(insert pause for a few minutes)
...and hmm... Somehow the name "RJ" sticks out to me though I don't know what those initials stand for. "RJ" would be my first name's initials, inverted. Sounds good to me. It's a boy!

What RJ and Melody share in common is that they face the threat of their parents aborting them. I don't know their actual status or well-being nor do I know anything else about their parents. This is the burden of spiritually adopting a baby. But the fruit of it is that you can't help but to pray for them and their parents because that is all you can do.

So that's settled. I thought I'd spend a little more time on deciding on a name, but it only took a few minutes.

On my drive here, I heard on 910 AM that 64% of women who have an abortion are forced to have it. The ad continued by citing examples around the nation of cases where women were threatened with violence if they didn't have an abortion. How sad is that? That even if she desires life for her child, she cannot because someone is threatening her life unless she goes through an abortion. The ad ended with that, in this way, abortion is an unchoice. www.unchoice.info is the website, I think.

Hmm, I was just thinking... The nice thing about going this late in the evening is that you don't have to ponder the reasons why a woman enters this facility like you would on a Saturday morning. No one is inside right now except Mr. I Have To Clean This Place.

What's frustrating about this facility is that it offers other sexual and health services besides abortion. But sometime in the past year, I realized that if a man is truly a man and a woman is truly a woman and their conjugal union is truly a gift of self to the other in marriage (we're talking eternally, here), then the whole sexual health purpose of this facility means nothing. Pointless.

I pray here not to shut down this facility though its existence doesn't promote an authentic loving environment, but rather I pray here for a change of heart.

It is the attitudes about sex and love that we must seek to change in order to end abortion. I don't feel like eradicating the means is enough.

To get rid of a weed, you must consider its root.

- JD